Forever Impacted: The Completion of National Novel Writing Month 2020
**The following is a transcript, best read while listening to the included video.**
Hey guys
How y'all doing today?
I hope you're good.
I hate NaNoWriMo.
I literally wonder how many people…
Today is literally day 15 for me.
It is November 14, but I started on October 31, because of all these stupid daily prompts that I'm doing.
And I've just had a love/hate with some character development this morning, because I've always, I guess, struggled to explain to non-writers how much writing a book affects them.
And there's been days like when I used to work in the hospitality industry, and I would write like a death scene, or a murder scene or something or some sort of emotional scene and like, you carry that with you.
And it's hard to explain, because you really have to, like live in the moment.
And so today, I don't know, I've just been really bummed out because you know, my character and how he has to be the one who carries the torch and is in the lead even when people aren't believing him.
And he has to be the one that believes in the hope that no one else sees.
And I guess, as a writer, that's just how I'm feeling today.
Because I just feel like I'm putting out all this content.
And I feel like it's annoying.
And that's not what I'm meaning by it.
You know, just because I was trying to do it to help uplift people.
Some people are really inspired and uplifted by it.
I don't know, some people are probably annoyed.
I could even just be overthinking a lot of things because I'm new.
But today, I'm just really feeling that kind of like despair that my character is going through, and I'm halfway through on the dot.
And so it kind of sucks.
But I hope the next half of the month picks up.
I mean, I'm moving toward the hope of the part in the book, you know what I mean?
Like now they're moving forward into the area where he's hopeful that things are gonna change.
So I'm hoping that me as the author experiences some of that.
So we'll see what happens over the duration of this vlog.
Thanks for driving by right at the end of my closing statement.
I don't know what I'm going to get write on in.
And today, I'm having a moment.
But I felt like I just wanted to share that sometimes it's hard.
But that's hard.
It's the truth, whether you're sharing your work or not that I mean, it's hard writing a book that nobody's really reading because no one's really reading it in the first draft anyway.
So even though I'm posting it doesn't, some people are, some people aren't.
But this is a normal feeling that I've had writing any book that I've ever had, whether I'm posting and sharing this way or not, because there's just that feeling of like nobody cares.
So I don't know, I have to battle that today.
But also, thanks to the people who do care, because there are some that I can't say nobody, but I think that any content creator knows what I'm saying.
But in the first few months, they're hard to get through sometimes, but we'll see today's writing session goes.
I'm excited about later because later today, I'm going to be recording a video with my friend Eboni.
We're gonna do a super fun character sketch.
I'll probably do a little bit more of a vlog about that later.
But we will see.
So anyway, thanks for letting me vent.
Hi, everybody, how you doing?
I, personally, am feeling better than I did earlier.
This morning was a hard morning.
I don't know, there are times when being a creative person is hard.
I thought about not filming this morning, actually at all.
I did not film the real like break down that happened.
I did think that it would be just beneficial to I don't know…
Anytime you're writing a book, it just feels like nobody cares.
So I just wanted to put that out there.
And this morning, there was a hard moment with that that I got through and now I'm moving on and I'm about to get write on in just for a little bit.
I don't know what today's writing session is going to bring.
I have about an hour and a half to kill before Eboni gets here.
I'm so excited about that because I think it's just going to make me in such a better mood.
I will do my best to get some shots of her on here for this this little vlog that will come out this week.
But the video that we're editing or filming today is not going to be coming out until December, but I'm excited because I'm going to get dressed up and you'll see what I mean soon.
But for right now I'm going to go get write on in.
Okay, well, that was super fun.
I just busted out 1437 words in the 23-minute sprint that I just did.
So that's actually pretty cool.
It's 3:03 right now.
Eboni's getting here at four, I just need to go pick us up some pizza for the night and then I have to start getting dressed up.
So that's gonna be all I can do for now.
I'm sorry if you can hear my fan, I just right now realize that it's on but I don't have time to refilm.
But anyway, I'm gonna go get some pizza and then maybe I'll have time to get more writing in later, but I don't know.
She's also bringing over alcohol, so whatever.
But 1400 words for the day, that's almost the 1667 count.
I only needed 500 words to be on track.
I thought I was a day ahead, but I had accidentally included a couple of my writing prompts into my word count and that was wrong.
So I had 24,500 last night, and I just did the 1400 right now, so there we go.
I think I'm just at about 26,000 for this book.
Halfway point is today.
Oh, my gosh.
Oh, my gosh, it's only halfway.
Whatever.
Whatever, I'm gonna go have a good night.
Bye.
Wharyou doing?
She's, like, I can't even get you on this right here.
I just want to get all of that.
She found this spot.
Sweet potato.
Oh sweet potato
What's up everybody?
How's it going?
I did not record any message yesterday.
I'm sorry.
That's because Rachel, who's here again, she and I did a livestream on my channel last night, which is still uploaded on my channel and it was actually super fun.
I had a lot of fun doing that.
I've never done a live stream before, and we just wrote for three hours and we had a solid amount of people there right?
Ah yeah, it was a great time.
Yeah.
And so we we are going to do the same thing like but we just did the other night that's already I think in this vlog.
No, she was in last -- you were in last week's vlog.
I don't remember, all of these days getting confusing.
But Rachel and I are just going to write and tonight I am going to remember to have this recording.
Last night I at least remembered to do the screen recordings of my daily writings, as you know because you've already seen that in this vlog.
But the livestream I was not thinking about filming myself.
I was also whiskey drunk so it's fine.
But anyway, we are going to go get right on in because I I want to finish this book by the end of this vlog.
Some chips.
I did -- how many words did you do Rachel?
2836 today so
That's 2000 with you.
2836 today, how much should I do?
I finished my chapter nine, I know that much.
All that, I wrote 2847.
Yay.
Oh, close, the two of us.
Yeah, so great.
And now I'm done with chapter nine.
And I'm almost a third of the way through my book -- two thirds of the way through my book, which means we're two thirds of the way through NaNo.
I'll see you all tomorrow.
I think Piper just loves picking inconvenient times to exist.
What's going on everybody?
I'm about to do another little writing with Rachel.
That's all I have to say right now.
I'll check in more later.
It's only four o'clock right now.
We've been doing these at like nine o'clock and I've been in front of the camera a lot.
So vlogging is like I don't know.
I don't want to talk to the camera any more than I have to right now.
Especially cuz I just leave this like running while I do what I do.
So I'm just like, yeah, here.
I'm here.
Bye.
All right.
Well, that was super fun.
I got 2000 words done basically on the dot.
I think -- I actually have 2034 words.
We've done two sessions for right now.
I don't know, we might do some more later.
Rachel.
How many?
How many did you do?
Well between -- I just 1500 then, in those two sprints.
And then I did almost 800 late last night.
So I'm at 2303 for the day, so I still need to hit like 450 more words to meet my 275 goal.
But you're ahead in NaNo.
Yeah.
Cool.
Yeah, Rachel has like 30,000 words.
I'm at 35,220.
I, at least will be writing later.
I don't know if Rachel will be with me or not.
But I still have to go do the writing prompt and everything.
I'm going to take a nap.
It's five o'clock and then I have to get write on in more later.
Yay.
Hi, again.
Back just when you thought you're gonna get rid of me.
I'm gonna come back and get write on in.
I will be meeting with Rachel in a minute.
She's not here right now.
I haven't really talked, like I said earlier, to the vlog much just because I have been on this stupid camera so much that I haven't had a chance to just like talk to it.
This is really crazy NaNo.
Tonight, I'm hoping to finish chapter 10 of my book.
There are 15 chapters planned.
My goal is to do one chapter a day for the rest of the week.
Right now it's Tuesday.
Yeah, and so then Wednesday will be 11.
Thursday will be 12.
Friday will be 13.
Saturday will be 14 and then Sunday, I'll finish hopefully.
And if that is what is going to happen, then this vlog will be late because it won't be on Sunday because I'm going to wait and finish out because I don't want to have a vlog that just has like one or two days, you know, if I'm going to finish it.
Cuz I won't need to continue this once the actual, like, NaNo bit for myself is done.
Because I got these damn damn prompts to keep doing, so.
I think Rachel just texted me, ready to go.
So I will see you guys on the flip side.
Well, that was super fun.
I finished chapter 10, Act Two of my book and it's getting saucy up in this bitch.
So I'm at 37,200 words.
I've had some vodka by the way.
Sad thing, I don't really, I don't even drink that much.
And then I started doing National Novel Writing Month on YouTube.
And now I drink all the time.
But with Rachel, so, how many words did you do Rachel?
2842 today, which brings me to 31,226.
31,226 words that this bitch has written over here!
Yay.
I just want to be done.
Morning.
I haven't done, like, a morning vlog in a long time.
It's 6am.
I just have to do the same thing I've been doing every day this month.
It's day 19.
It's okay.
It's day 19.
It's only day 19?
What's a going on?
It is now 3:15 in the afternoon, where's -- there's --
Where is she?
That's fine, whatever.
Anyway, we're about to do another livestream at four o'clock.
It's 3:15 right now, I'm getting all that together at the moment.
And this time I will remember to at least record this while I record the screen so I can still do the time lapse footage because I don't know, I'm still doing that.
So my Photoshop just decided to freak out and I'm a little bit freaked out.
I don't know why it won't open, I don't know why it shut down in the first place.
I make all of my stupid thumbnails that -- I hate thumbnails in the first place.
If I don't have Photoshop, I don't know what I'm gonna do right now.
It's been, like, 15 minutes, it will not open, it's just frozen on that thing, and I restarted my computer, and it's just not working.
So I would really love it, Photoshop, if you could get it together because I pay for you every month.
All right, well, here's to livesprints.
So okay, I'm talking to the vlog, Rachel's on the phone right now, here's the thing, is that I have been doing every thing off of my external hard drive, and in whatever Photoshop debacle that just happened, I don't know why, but now suddenly my computer is no longer recognizing said hard drive.
So Rachel is here on the phone trying to keep me in the Zendrew breathing mode, because that hard drive currently has everything and this vlog might not ever even get seen.
I don't even know why I'm talking to the camera.
There could potentially be no point.
Oh, my God.
Everything's fine.
I have six minutes until we go live, and then I just right now finished the thumbnail and set everything up.
I've got the livestream all done.
My computer's recognizing my thing again, so it's cool.
So I'm just gonna put this up over here, like I usually do, but like one of the other little writing sessions on this vlog, you can pretty much watch this whole thing happen, but this time, no whiskey.
I'm technically still on YouTube live in the middle of a writing sprint, but I'm done.
So I'm just gonna say goodnight here.
I'm muted so they don't know that I'm being blasphemous.
I'm spending this, this writing sprint here with you saying goodbye.
See you tomorrow.
So I haven't really done much today.
I'm so tired.
It’s like 5:30 but it's already super dark.
This one down here doesn't know that she is getting a b-o-n-e and let's -- see, soon as I pull out the camera she moves away from me.
But I wanted to grab her reaction because I bought her a mega bone.
I've been doing all my own reactions this month and I've been trying to get her on camera this whole entire time and she hates it.
She always runs away.
She's so rude, but I really wanted to get a reaction to this bone.
Okay, I'm outside right now.
This is the bone, so it's huge.
I'll go write on in and give it to her.
Also, Canon g7x mark ii night scene.
Good lighting.
But now let's go see how she reacts to it.
It's like so slimy.
See the slime?
Wha's dah?
What is a big bone?
What is this?
It's big as you.
That's as big as you.
Where'd you get that?
Where'd you get that?
Piper?
Can you at least -- can you say thanks?
Can I get a kiss?
Can you give me a kiss?
Can I?
Can you say thank you to me?
Can you say thanks?
I have some on my hand for you can lick it off.
Piper.
Hey, can I have a kiss?
Do you see how she ignores me?
She's so rude.
How you gonna eat that?
What is up to everybody?
It's 10:11, I'm on with Rachel again.
Oh, you can see her in my glasses.
There she is like literally -- oh, she's waving
We are gonna do a little night sess.
It is midnight for her.
It is 10 for me, and when we are done, it will be midnight for me and time for me to watch the series finale of Supernatural.
And I heard that it was really sad already.
There was Miss phasered, Tara from her little livestream the other night, she was already talking about how she was a mess.
She said she literally hadn't cried that hard since her dad died.
I was like, I don't know how I'm gonna handle this.
So I'll let you know, but first I gotta get write on in to almost being done with getting write on in to this book.
What up?
I finished my chap and stuff.
Your chap.
Chapter 12 of The Fight to Save the Future.
I have three chapters left.
I'm trying to shoot for three days left of the bullsh*t before I can be done.
I don't hate it.
Now I'm getting to like the end -- the climax, if you will -- and so I'm just ready to let em duke it out.
Let them fight it out.
Let the solution come, and get write on in with being done with his mother.
Bye!
What is up everybody?
It is only two o'clock in the afternoon.
I'm about to go get write on in with Rachel and then I think I'm gonna just chill out for the night
Maybe I'll go try and watch a movie with that one over there.
Hey, Piper, you want to watch a movie?
You want to watch a movie later?
Well, anyway, I'm gonna go write with Rachel, get it over with and I've already done the prompt.
I'm not releasing this vlog until next week since I'm going to finish the book on Sunday.
I'm still on track for that, which is great.
And then yeah, I think I really will be just watching a movie and enjoying my Friday night.
Oh my goodness.
What is that like?
Also, just because I don't think I'm gonna include it in this actual vlog, I did record my reaction to the Supernatural finale.
And what I will say is that I had texted my friend who has not yet seen it as of this recording, and I told her if you did not like that send-off episode, you are not a fan.
I then get on the internet and find out apparently I'm the only fan with Tara over at phasered.
So thanks, Tara.
And the critics, it's like the first time I've ever agreed with the critics.
But the fans say that it's like a Game of Thrones-level bad ending.
There's no way you'll ever ever convince me of that.
But I have a Supernatural season tier ranking video coming out soon.
I was just waiting for said final episode before I made final rankings.
So stay tuned for that.
I can't wait to have my first argument on YouTube.
Oh my goodness, I'm almost done.
I've got 45,250 words, I hope, because every time I keep thinking I'm close to that 50,000 I keep finding more documents that I have accidentally checked to include into this word count.
And this time that happened and I lost 3000 words.
So it's fine.
It's not a big deal.
So it's fine.
I just have two chapters left.
I've 4700 words to make it happen.
Like I said in my livestream the other night, I basically designed this stupid story that I love to be like 50,000 in one words, and it's literally looking like it's gonna be like 50,000 and maybe three, so we'll be done soon enough.
And so will Rachel for her first ever book.
How's it going everyone?
It's like, I don't know, five o'clock, only five o'clock it's just so, so dark.
I hate this at the frickin winter time.
I'm here with Rachel again.
We're just gonna do another writing session.
Tomorrow is gonna be our livestream and that's what I'm gonna finish this book.
So I have two chapters left.
I've only got 4800 words left until I hit the 50,000 so I'm pretty much just gonna like do 2500 in this chapter and 2500 in the next chapter, and then I'll be done with this book.
And that's pretty exciting to me.
And then I'll trim up my neck because I decided that I was just going to wait until the end of the writing of the book, and then I'll trim my neck because and that's like the whole novel impact thing or whatever, whatever.
So that'll happen tomorrow.
And that's exciting.
So let's get write on in for the second to last time.
Okay, so I, I really my this book literally might be like 50,001 words, I have 2720 words left.
And I just have one chapter if I need to make an epilogue.
But I still think that that's pretty good for having constructed this book out of my ass from scratch out of a random generator just on YouTube.
But I am very, very close.
I'm very, very close, very, very close to being done.
What is going on everybody?
I'm about to write the end of this book.
I cannot wait to be done with this book.
It has been a fun journey.
But I'm definitely ready for it to be finished.
I am currently wearing the exact same shirt that I wore the night that all this started, I have purchased a bottle of the same wine that I drank the night that all of this started and I'm about to do a livestream with Rachel and Lezlie, even, The Nerdy Narrative is coming to hang out with us for a little bit.
I'm literally so excited that that just makes it a one time thing all worth it.
She's so great.
I'm so happy that she's gonna not even just like hop on and be in the comments.
But like proper, like, come and say hi on the live stream that makes me super happy.
So I'm not going to this, this bottle of wine will be done by the end of the day.
But it's also only 10:50 in the morning right now.
So I will just be pouring myself a glass to finish the book with celebration.
And then after that, it's Sunday funday.
Okie dokie, this book is DONE!
Oh, my God, I'm so excited.
Oh, my God, it's done.
It's done!
And it was 50,008 words
I literally, I've said it.
I constructed this book to be 50,000 words on the dot from scratch out of a generator man, and I'm currently having, this is the first glass, okay, I'm not over here drunk.
I'm literally just excited.
But I am finishing off with a glass of the wine that started this book, wearing the same shirt that I was wearing now, what, three months ago and I randomly put those generators in the genre or the genres and the generators.
So I'm glad that I'm finished with this book now.
Wow.
Wow, this has been such a crazy journey.
And just in case anyone has made it this far in the vlog, because I know this one's longer than normal since I added on yesterday and today since I was finishing none of this, I have not had one private moment with this book.
I don't really know how else to explain that.
I feel like I've said that, but I feel like people don't really understand what that means or what that feels like.
But regardless of who has or has not been reading, or watching or who may or may not ever come around, but this whole book is on my YouTube channel on my website from scratch, like from conception to completion, and I didn't have any time alone with it.
And that was, I don't know how to explain that to people, especially to other writers, because I don't really know any other writers who have done this this way.
Like we share our work, obviously, but I I've just never seen someone else do it from like, I just got the idea right now all the way through to the end.
So it's it really has been hard to explain to people exactly how much pressure I have felt.
Even though I am still a small channel even though I don't have a huge following even though I only have a few people who have been reading me and watching me and I'm really grateful for the support that I have had.
It's one of those things where like even one pair of eyes is a pair of eyes and it just stresses me out.
But I'm gonna go clean up the neck beard because now that this NaNo experience is done, this whole novel impact thing is done, this is what I look like at the end.
I'll do some sort of side by side comparison of what I look like when I started versus now.
It's crazy that it's only been three weeks because I feel like I look nine years older, like with -- this beard grew in so thick and so fast and with such a vengeance but oh my god, I am done.
