Conquering Fear
Have you ever felt like you were swirling around in a cyclone of surrealism, overwhelmed and desperate to find a place to rest your longing hands?
I have.
In January 2014, I embarked on a journey.
On that journey, I ventured to a town that, for six years, lived only in my dreams.
I crafted an entire book series that was rooted in this town, yet I had never been.
I wrote about a real town without ever having actually been there, and everyone, including myself, thought I was crazy for that.
I was terrified as I boarded the plane and buckled myself up for this adventure. I was pummeled by questions of whether or not what I was doing was right.
I was convinced I’d made a terrible decision by choosing the town so randomly, and an even worse one by deciding to visit it.
I avoided the trip for as long as possible when I started writing the novel, because making the town a real experience in my life finalized what had originally started as a summer project.
I ignored how I truly felt about it, but the truth was, an even mixture of fear and excitement floated within me, constantly battling to overtake my thoughts and prove victorious.
And I was.
Not only was the town perfect, but it evoked an inspiration in me that I had never had before.
Fifteen months later, I found myself in the country of my dreams, doing a year-long excursion traveling a foreign country and putting myself in my characters’ minds, and while, in retrospect, everything worked out, no one will ever be able to understand the questions that still flood my mind, constantly threatening to damper my spirit.
What I learned from these experiences
Fear is good.
Fear is an emotion that only presents itself at the time of greatest need.
When you know something you want is right there, just within your reach.
Fear can do one of two things:
Hold someone back, if allowed, or
Possess the bearer with a newfound strength, therefore enabling the victim to discover a new faith within themselves hidden in their deepest depths, and allow them to piece themselves together to become the person they were destined to be.
Destiny, however, is just as tricky.
Since destiny lies in the future, should the unknown outcome of it slow us down and keep us from progressing?
Is it bad to look into the future and only see fog?
If I had known the outcome of my trips, the outcome of my life and everything I have worked so hard for, would I have changed anything in my course to get there?
And if I did, would I have found a way to avoid the hardest times that made it all worth it?
Or would I follow blindly, knowing the outcome and yet riding on the excitement of the journey?
Is that not what life is?
A journey given to us, a path laid out with numerous challenges and obstacles?
In the deepest possible reflection of life up until the present, does one not find that the path was always clear?
Every occurrence in our life has some meaning, no matter how big or small.
All of the little things we ignore, all of the questions answered right in front of us and yet...we follow.
We live.
We go on, knowing the past has molded us, but forcing ourselves to look hopefully into the future.
Good and bad is not as clearly definable as black and white, but an appreciation of our trials and tribulations is necessary in order for us to grow.
If you're still alive, what are you so afraid of?
All of the obstacles overcome are to be praised, to encourage you to understand what it is you're capable of doing.
The obstacles get harder, because one doesn't need to learn lessons over and over.
Once the lesson is learned, it's a chapter to close, and the next growing block will only make you stronger, despite the weight of the stress it brings.
Will you let your fear control you, or will you do everything in your power to silence it?
Fear is something to be captured, to use and turn into adrenaline, to give you the will to go on.
If there's anything you're afraid of...anything that's holding you back...grab the bull by its horns and don’t be afraid to show it what you’re made of — show it how you can do anything you set your mind to, and you may surprise yourself in the process.
