During my research about ways to save money in New Zealand, I found Willing Workers on Organic Farms, or “WWOOFing.”

Part of the comfort zone I stepped out of coming to New Zealand revolved around my work life. I knew how to do what I was familiar with, but I wanted to learn what else was out there.

My original plan upon arrival in New Zealand was to check into the hostel, buy a ticket for the Sky Tower, and jump off of it.

I even booked my hostel right next to the Sky Tower so I wouldn’t get lost.

People didn’t think I could survived this trip, and I wanted to make a statement, start bold and do something that evoked adrenaline and proved I could do whatever I wanted.

The day I left for New Zealand, I woke to the sound of my mother vomiting.

My eyes snapped open.

Oh no… She won’t be able to see me off at the airport with Dad!

I detangled myself from my sheets and sprinted into the living room.

That problem intensified when I found Dad vomiting over the sink, as my mom had claimed the bathroom.

The night I changed my life, I turned out all the lights. I embraced the darkness that fought to keep me bound in chains, circled candles around me, and summoned forth enough light to be bathed, but not enough to be consumed. I sat with a beating heart, my mind alight with an unfathomable number of questions. How can I make a change to my life? How can I make the best of this broken heart? Why can’t I seem to find any happiness?