Some things really just never change. Except the thickness of your hairline.

What's going on everybody?

How y'all doing out there?

I hope this video is finding you well.

If you are new to this channel, my name is Andrew, and this is the last of these little reaction videos that I have been making over these writing advice videos I made when I was much younger than I am now.

This has been kind of a crazy month here for me on YouTube with lots of these kind of reactions and self reflections and all this crazy stuff.

There's been laughter, there's been tears, but I finished my NaNo 2020 book, I finished going through my blog.

Now it's time to finish going through these old writing videos, and move on to some much different and much more exciting content.

So I don't even want to waste any time.

Without further ado, let's just get write on in.

Alright, Welcome back, everybody.

We again are here just at my old channel, my Andrew J. Stillman channel.

There's still some videos on there.

I've been kind of posting on there recently, as well.

I'm seriously here for this hairline.

I cannot wait to get that back.

I'm still on my little hair treatment.

But Damn, I'm just here for these curls.

That's the first thing I gotta say on this video, I want to get these curls back.

On Evoking Emotion.

How funny, because my little last writing vlog that is up there from this NaNo experience, I was all sad and emotional at the beginning.

And then I was done at the end.

And that's pretty much how these two videos are about to go.

So let's just see.

That's how I feel.

Oh, that's how I feel.

Okay.

Okay.

It's day nine of NaNo.

Okay.

I'm very, very tired.

Mm hmm.

This is the first day that I took it off.

I think back already, it's…

These last nine days have been pretty crazy.

And then the last couple of videos that I've made -- only two, the first two, I guess.

I mean, I tried to keep them light and funny.

I heard that my almost eight month year old nephew laughed at my --

Eight month year old?

Okay.

-- horses names last week.

So that's always nice to hear.

But that was all at the beginning of this process when things were still kind of, I guess, light and fun.

If anyone knows anything about this book, okay, anyone who's my friend, you know that it's going to be a sad book.

The first book dealt with anger.

And I don't know what that kind of meant but not so much yet.

We don't have time to watch this at normal speed.

Get to the point.

--on who's a friend, you know that it's going to be a sad book.

The first book dealt with anger and kind of some resentment, but not so much yet until later on in the series.

But it dealt with a lot of anger and a lot of coming into adulthood.

I guess that's really what these powers that I'm writing about are representing, at least in my mind, today, really.

I see them as killing the child that was within you to become the adult that you're supposed to be. And--

I feel like I just sounded like Una at the CodeX Cantina.

Killing the child within you to become the adult that you have to be is how I look at these powers.

Am I channeling my inner Una?

Una is so smart.

--that's why I shoot for the 24/25-year-olds are kind of in the same boat as me because I think that that can be a really overwhelming process for people in general.

I know I was one of them.

I still am, I guess.

It's okay.

We're all kind of works in progress.

No one's really perfect.

So this book has kind of --

Okay, all right. All right. All right.

2014 Andrew, you started out awkward as hell.

But I'm here for you here at the end.

-- stark contrast to that anger, and to that rage that really fueled Donovan and Druin in the first book.

And this deals a lot more with depression and loneliness and sadness and fear and isolation.

And I've talked about that a little bit.

But when I started this at the beginning of the month, when I really -- actually, when I started this book in general, I never really realized how intense it was going to get.

It's really, well, and it's really real, this book, to me, at least, because these are feelings that I'm no stranger to.

I've definitely been suicidal.

Still not -- wait.

Hold on, I'm going to slow this down, Maybe 1.5 is too fast.

Let's do 1.25.

And it's really real this book to me at least.

Because these are feelings that I'm no stranger to.

I've definitely been suicidal before.

I've definitely been depressed before.

I mean, right now, I currently live alone.

And at first, that was quite an adjustment, living in my own isolation from the rest of the world.

And you didn't even know what was about to happen in 2020!

Oh, my God.

And this story has really taken a different turn than I really thought it was going to my whole life.

This title, "Tides of Darkness," has been in my head and I feel like I've always been working toward it ever since I was eight.

That was the first time I tried to write a book and that was the first the first time Tides of Darkness came to my head, was --

Hey, I have that!

I've shown that… I'm not going to go look for it right now.

But I have shown the little floppy disk of that because I still have that.

Second grade, Forbidden Fire.

Maybe look a little bit familiar?

Tides of Darkness, that is the second book for this series here that no one has ever read.

So apparently that one stuck around with me for a while.

-- when I was eight years old, and the evil guy's name is Lord Faromiunt.

That's all I remember from it because I was, I mean a child, that --

Still!

-- now that I'm here working on Tides of Darkness, and really getting into the nitty gritty and really learning more about my characters than what --

I low key, like…

I think I kind of look good as a 24 year old.

I thought -- I missed my youth!

--we saw in Imortality Awaits, is just taking quite a big toll on me emotionally a lot more so than I ever really thought that it would.

I was talking to a friend yesterday about evoking --

I was literally just talking about this same exact thing in my last vlog at the beginning.

So that's weird.

-- emotion, which obviously is something that most writers, you should at least strive for.

Because you really want the people who read your books to feel the emotions that fuel your characters and the thoughts that control them.

And they have to make sense, they have to work together.

And there's a difference, really, between being part of the audience and being part of the creation.

And I think that that, in particular, is a lesson that I'm learning a lot with this NanoWriMo.

I mean, in the first book, everything was just really introductory, everything was just…

I had to get it out of the way.

I needed to get the story set up to take it off.

The first book is just, I think about it as if you're looking at the whole series as a roller coaster.

Book one is standing in line and looking at the people who are screaming and wondering if this is really something that you're into or not.

And then you get to the front and you strap on.

And that's the first book.

The second book is the start of the roller coaster.

And I think I compare this one in particular to California Adventure at Disneyland because that roller coaster, you just shoot it soon as you start.

You're just, there is no holding on whatsoever.

And that's kind of what's going to happen in Times of Darkness.

And especially with the name, I'm really starting to learn how dark this is going to be.

This is so weird.

It's really interesting, actually, to currently hear myself talk about what this book was meant to be.

And like how I feel about it now.

I'm reading this book next month, side note, spoiler alert for part of my TBR.

I'm not reading it alone.

And I'm not reading it --

I mean, I am reading it by choice, but it's not because I was like, "Oh, I should read this book."

It was because I told someone, like, "Oh, if you buy it, I'll read it with you," thinking --

Whatever Jessi at Bookish Mom, you got me.

But it's interesting to hear this.

I think for me, at least as the author, I'm definitely like, "Huh, that's interesting,."

It already really is, it's going to be the darkest in the series, the next one's going to be a lot more adventurous.

But this, this book is really dedicated --

It's true.

-- to people who are broken and shattered on the inside.

And who tried to cover up the things that have hurt them and to mend the wounds that cut them up still to this day.

And it's a hard enough thing as it is in real life to overcome those kinds of emotions, those kinds of self doubts, and it's really hard to create it.

So, as a reader or as an audience, when you get that feeling of --

Just as a side note, in general, I do love this book so much more than I love this one.

It is just that since writing this book, the events that took place in this book don't match up.

And that's where I've gotten stuck.

I just feel like I need to put that out there.

Because I get a lot of questions about why don't you publish, and that's because I'm stuck.

-- with the sadness, or the anger or the love or whatever it is that you feel from the author.

I think it's easy to ignore what was going on with the author because we all have this stigma.

Even I did when I first started writing that pretty much books just happen.

You just sat down, you pumped it out and, you know, you went through it a couple of times.

But I think that in general, we really don't understand, or we really don't look at what it is that the creators go through.

I was reading this thing with JK Rowling the other day about --

I literally just said the same thing in my last writer's vlog, where I was just like, "I've always tried to explain to people…"

Wow.

-- but her reaction was when she killed off Fred and when she killed Lupin, Tonks --

Oh, I think I'm literally about to say almost the exact same thing I just said on that vlog on that.

And I have a greater empathy for that now, because as authors we really get attracted -- or attached, not attracted… hopefully attached to our characters, and they really do become children to us.

You could…

You could get attracted to your characters.

This Andrew… this Andrew…

You can get attracted to your characters.

And it's something that can't be explained unless you are a writer.

But when you put your characters, or your children, or even if you think of them as friends, just things that you've thought of, people that you love into these situations where you really beat them up.

It's really difficult.

And this month has really turned into an emotionally challenging month for me.

Oh back then, I thought that was hard!

A lot more so than I ever thought it was going to.

I'm sorry.

The somberness of this video, it's definitely not as humorous and light-hearted as the last couple.

But if you've read Immortality Awaits, thank you for starting the journey with me.

If you haven't, you can wait until Tides of Darkness is out because it's going to be way better.

But in truth --

Wait until it's out.

I don't know what to say about that.

-- I'm trying really hard to take everything about this whole entire series seriously.

I'm really trying to make these characters relatable, and really feel what they're feeling.

And the more I get to know them, and the more I get into it, the more I realized that they have a dark, dark, dark past all of them.

This is so true.

And this Lezlie!

Lezlie, this is what I'm talking about when I say I hear you when you're talking about what the villain and the thing that and your ramblings, it's been with me.

This is why -- this is why we're friends rightnow, because we've already connected like somewhere, maybe, I don't know.

We feel the same way about this.

-- to get from it.

So I'm certainly ready for this month to be over.

It has been long.

I can't -- I literally cannot believe it is only the ninth.

I thought that I was almost… almost halfway.

I'm almost halfway in the book.

I'm at about 30,000 words.

So it's coming together, but it's only November 9.

So I took the day off from writing just to record this video, and it's church. So --

Church!

-- I don't know, we'll see.

This is going to be pretty, a pretty crazy week.

I'm trying to record these videos every three day if -- three days, if for nothing else but to see how much I change just when I rewatch these videos, because the videos --

When I rewatch these videos six years later to see how much I have changed!

-- that I took in Massachusetts, which are going to be aired soon.

No, they never got aired.

I really saw the change in who I was when I sat down at the airport and did my first video and who I was when I landed back.

And I I feel that already happening in this month.

And I feel that already happening with this book.

And I'm very interested to see what's going to happen when it's over.

But it's only the ninth day.

So there's still a lot of time left.

But sorry, this turned into a ramble.

Just that's pretty much how NaNo is treating me.

I mean, that's very, wow.

When you think about people who write books, don't question how much it hurts them to do certain things.

I think -- I mean, when we talk about what you killed characters, everyone should live, everyone blah blah blah.

I mean, we have the same thoughts, as the authors.

And it's just as hard for us to kill them off.

Even, maybe, I mean, harder.

And yeah.

I wrote my first death scene, by the way.

I don't know if that's been obvious out of all of this.

But my most recent writing vlog, I was literally crying at the beginning about killing people.

And I hadn't even killed, like, a character.

I'd, like, they were just cannibals.

So they were just the person that they killed and ate that I was upset about.

So it's very different.

You're actually, like, attached to who you kill.

It's been… it's getting kind of morbid.

And it's just more of a challenge to separate fantasy worlds from real world and fantasy emotions and emotions that are real, but not mine into my own because it affects me so much.

So thank you for watching you for listening.

I am really, really, really, really excited to share this book, when I'm done.

It won't be done at the end of the month.

Obviously, it's just the first draft.

But by the time this book is finished, I really think that it's going to be the defining book of my career.

Ah, I said, what?

Oh, I said WHAT?!

I need to rewind and I need to listen to that at a normal speed.

I said what?

Really excited to share this book when I'm done.

It won't be done at the end of the month.

Obviously, it's just a first draft.

But by the time this book is finished, I really think that it's going to be the defining book of my career.

I said DAT! Dat!

I feel that about a different book now.

So no pressure, but we'll see.

So happy NaNo, if you're still going keep plugging.

If you're breaking down like me, don't worry.

You're not the only one.

I've never cried it before writing, and I've cried every single day for the last five days.

It's been kind of obnoxious and it's only day nine.

Three weeks.

If you are one of the people who this book is dedicated to and you feel broken, and you feel useless, and you feel like your life has no purpose, remember, you are not alone.

And remember that you are wrong.

Because you have a purpose.

Oh!

You have a reason for your life.

And that's what I'm examining in this book.

It's gonna be some fantasy realism out there for you people who think fantasy can't get real.

Happy NaNo!

Oh, oh my gosh.

Wow.

Okay, honestly, as the author, I will I will say that that was the most relatable video for me so far.

As far as like, that's literally, I feel like I just recorded that video two days ago.

That's hilarious.

And this is the last one.

What is going on in this video?

Why do I look like this?

Okay, well, this is hilarious.

Okay, we're gonna watch this one at a faster speed too, because I already can't deal.

Oh, that is the face I made and still kind of making because I just hit 50,000 words.

Today is November 14, and is obviously day 14 and National Novel Writing Month.

And somehow, some way, I don't know how I --

I look a damn mess in this, I look a hot damn mess 100%.

But like I just woke up and 50,000 words that I was like, "Oh, that was that was what--"

I wish writer Andrew could look like now, but my, I don't have the hair that I had then.

--just managed to hit 50,000 words, it's only been two weeks, two weeks.

It has been a very long, two weeks.

How I did this, I really really don't know, it really kind of requires about four to five hours of writing time a day, which is a lot, but I'm still not done.

I still have so much left to do.

This draft is really coming together very well though.

I'm really, really enjoying what I'm writing.

And I'm really, really enjoying how it's going down.

It's very emotional, but it's very raw and very real at the same time.

And I like that a lot.

I'm really excited about getting to the editing stage.

And at the beginning of the month, I thought that I wouldn't be able to hold a copy of it until December because I'm gonna order approve of CreateSpace.

And then but it looks like I might even be able to have that by the end of the month.

I cannot wait.

Because I need to tear this apart.

Because I need to add a lot of stuff.

A lot of these are desperation words, especially today.

I had written the 3500 because I've been doing desperation, where it's been about 3500 words a day.

So I have written that.

And I realized I was only 2000 words away from 50,000.

I don't like, "I have to, I have to," so the last dew thousand words were definitely desperation words that are going to need to be fixed.

But I'm really looking forward to that process.

Because I know what it does, because I saw the transition Immortality Awaits.

But if you're on track, you're about 24,000 words in.

If you're not there, don't worry, you can do a lot in a really short amount of time.

Trust me.

There's still a whole half of month in front of you.

So if you're on track, good job, if you're ahead, high five!

If you're not, don't worry, keep trying and keep going.

And as always, thanks for watching.

Thanks for listening, I'm really excited to share this with you guys.

Wow, really excited to share it all when I'm done.

Now I look like a hot mess.

And I never shared it with anybody.

So that's cool.

Six years later, especially that one that was talking about like, "Oh, when I watch these videos back…"

Today was actually very interesting, because it was cool to see what I had meant, like I said earlier with this book in the intent of it when I was putting it out and what I was trying to do with this book as well.

And I do think that reading this book next month is going to be interesting, it will be kind of like a separate aspect to bring this whole self reflection thing to a close just because I don't know, I don't even know what this book says.

So I think it might be interesting to get back, especially after that.

To hear myself say what I had wanted with this.

So it'll be interesting, I think, to read what I published at one point.

So I don't know.

But that was interesting.

I never obviously finished talking about this book.

From these videos, I finished the book, obviously, by the end of the month, I hit the 84,000 words, or whatever it was.

And I did have it.

And then honestly, basically, like, two days after I finished writing that book was when I decided to go to New Zealand, and that was when I went.

And six months later… by April, April 7 was when I left for New Zealand.

And this last video was November 14 2014.

Yeah.

And by April 7 of 2015, I was gone.

So that's definitely interesting to see.

Because there was a lot that happened in between that last video and the first one here on Get Write On In.

But just like I said back then, I mean, I have definitely been through depression and suicidal thoughts and tendencies and all that stuff.

So I'm glad for myself, at least, that I have come out of all of that and I'm here where I am now.

And I'm glad that I finally gotten through all of this reflection because for me, that was great.

I've had a great month doing all of this.

I know some people have really enjoyed these videos.

I'm appreciative of that.

Thank you all for your support and for being here.

And I'm definitely looking forward to next month when I can make content that's not just about me anymore, but I love you all so much.

And thanks for letting me get all of this reflection because I'm definitely a lot different than I was at the beginning of this month and I'm grateful for that.

See you next time!

Forever Impacted: The Completion of National Novel Writing Month 2020

**The following is a transcript, best read while listening to the included video.**

Hey guys

How y'all doing today?

I hope you're good.

I hate NaNoWriMo.

I literally wonder how many people…

Today is literally day 15 for me.

It is November 14, but I started on October 31, because of all these stupid daily prompts that I'm doing.

And I've just had a love/hate with some character development this morning, because I've always, I guess, struggled to explain to non-writers how much writing a book affects them.

And there's been days like when I used to work in the hospitality industry, and I would write like a death scene, or a murder scene or something or some sort of emotional scene and like, you carry that with you.

And it's hard to explain, because you really have to, like live in the moment.

And so today, I don't know, I've just been really bummed out because you know, my character and how he has to be the one who carries the torch and is in the lead even when people aren't believing him.

And he has to be the one that believes in the hope that no one else sees.

And I guess, as a writer, that's just how I'm feeling today.

Because I just feel like I'm putting out all this content.

And I feel like it's annoying.

And that's not what I'm meaning by it.

You know, just because I was trying to do it to help uplift people.

Some people are really inspired and uplifted by it.

I don't know, some people are probably annoyed.

I could even just be overthinking a lot of things because I'm new.

But today, I'm just really feeling that kind of like despair that my character is going through, and I'm halfway through on the dot.

And so it kind of sucks.

But I hope the next half of the month picks up.

I mean, I'm moving toward the hope of the part in the book, you know what I mean?

Like now they're moving forward into the area where he's hopeful that things are gonna change.

So I'm hoping that me as the author experiences some of that.

So we'll see what happens over the duration of this vlog.

Thanks for driving by right at the end of my closing statement.

I don't know what I'm going to get write on in.

And today, I'm having a moment.

But I felt like I just wanted to share that sometimes it's hard.

But that's hard.

It's the truth, whether you're sharing your work or not that I mean, it's hard writing a book that nobody's really reading because no one's really reading it in the first draft anyway.

So even though I'm posting it doesn't, some people are, some people aren't.

But this is a normal feeling that I've had writing any book that I've ever had, whether I'm posting and sharing this way or not, because there's just that feeling of like nobody cares.

So I don't know, I have to battle that today.

But also, thanks to the people who do care, because there are some that I can't say nobody, but I think that any content creator knows what I'm saying.

But in the first few months, they're hard to get through sometimes, but we'll see today's writing session goes.

I'm excited about later because later today, I'm going to be recording a video with my friend Eboni.

We're gonna do a super fun character sketch.

I'll probably do a little bit more of a vlog about that later.

But we will see.

So anyway, thanks for letting me vent.

Hi, everybody, how you doing?

I, personally, am feeling better than I did earlier.

This morning was a hard morning.

I don't know, there are times when being a creative person is hard.

I thought about not filming this morning, actually at all.

I did not film the real like break down that happened.

I did think that it would be just beneficial to I don't know…

Anytime you're writing a book, it just feels like nobody cares.

So I just wanted to put that out there.

And this morning, there was a hard moment with that that I got through and now I'm moving on and I'm about to get write on in just for a little bit.

I don't know what today's writing session is going to bring.

I have about an hour and a half to kill before Eboni gets here.

I'm so excited about that because I think it's just going to make me in such a better mood.

I will do my best to get some shots of her on here for this this little vlog that will come out this week.

But the video that we're editing or filming today is not going to be coming out until December, but I'm excited because I'm going to get dressed up and you'll see what I mean soon.

But for right now I'm going to go get write on in.

Okay, well, that was super fun.

I just busted out 1437 words in the 23-minute sprint that I just did.

So that's actually pretty cool.

It's 3:03 right now.

Eboni's getting here at four, I just need to go pick us up some pizza for the night and then I have to start getting dressed up.

So that's gonna be all I can do for now.

I'm sorry if you can hear my fan, I just right now realize that it's on but I don't have time to refilm.

But anyway, I'm gonna go get some pizza and then maybe I'll have time to get more writing in later, but I don't know.

She's also bringing over alcohol, so whatever.

But 1400 words for the day, that's almost the 1667 count.

I only needed 500 words to be on track.

I thought I was a day ahead, but I had accidentally included a couple of my writing prompts into my word count and that was wrong.

So I had 24,500 last night, and I just did the 1400 right now, so there we go.

I think I'm just at about 26,000 for this book.

Halfway point is today.

Oh, my gosh.

Oh, my gosh, it's only halfway.

Whatever.

Whatever, I'm gonna go have a good night.

Bye.

Wharyou doing?

She's, like, I can't even get you on this right here.

I just want to get all of that.

She found this spot.

Sweet potato.

Oh sweet potato

What's up everybody?

How's it going?

I did not record any message yesterday.

I'm sorry.

That's because Rachel, who's here again, she and I did a livestream on my channel last night, which is still uploaded on my channel and it was actually super fun.

I had a lot of fun doing that.

I've never done a live stream before, and we just wrote for three hours and we had a solid amount of people there right?

Ah yeah, it was a great time.

Yeah.

And so we we are going to do the same thing like but we just did the other night that's already I think in this vlog.

No, she was in last -- you were in last week's vlog.

I don't remember, all of these days getting confusing.

But Rachel and I are just going to write and tonight I am going to remember to have this recording.

Last night I at least remembered to do the screen recordings of my daily writings, as you know because you've already seen that in this vlog.

But the livestream I was not thinking about filming myself.

I was also whiskey drunk so it's fine.

But anyway, we are going to go get right on in because I I want to finish this book by the end of this vlog.

Some chips.

I did -- how many words did you do Rachel?

2836 today so

That's 2000 with you.

2836 today, how much should I do?

I finished my chapter nine, I know that much.

All that, I wrote 2847.

Yay.

Oh, close, the two of us.

Yeah, so great.

And now I'm done with chapter nine.

And I'm almost a third of the way through my book -- two thirds of the way through my book, which means we're two thirds of the way through NaNo.

I'll see you all tomorrow.

I think Piper just loves picking inconvenient times to exist.

What's going on everybody?

I'm about to do another little writing with Rachel.

That's all I have to say right now.

I'll check in more later.

It's only four o'clock right now.

We've been doing these at like nine o'clock and I've been in front of the camera a lot.

So vlogging is like I don't know.

I don't want to talk to the camera any more than I have to right now.

Especially cuz I just leave this like running while I do what I do.

So I'm just like, yeah, here.

I'm here.

Bye.

All right.

Well, that was super fun.

I got 2000 words done basically on the dot.

I think -- I actually have 2034 words.

We've done two sessions for right now.

I don't know, we might do some more later.

Rachel.

How many?

How many did you do?

Well between -- I just 1500 then, in those two sprints.

And then I did almost 800 late last night.

So I'm at 2303 for the day, so I still need to hit like 450 more words to meet my 275 goal.

But you're ahead in NaNo.

Yeah.

Cool.

Yeah, Rachel has like 30,000 words.

I'm at 35,220.

I, at least will be writing later.

I don't know if Rachel will be with me or not.

But I still have to go do the writing prompt and everything.

I'm going to take a nap.

It's five o'clock and then I have to get write on in more later.

Yay.

Hi, again.

Back just when you thought you're gonna get rid of me.

I'm gonna come back and get write on in.

I will be meeting with Rachel in a minute.

She's not here right now.

I haven't really talked, like I said earlier, to the vlog much just because I have been on this stupid camera so much that I haven't had a chance to just like talk to it.

This is really crazy NaNo.

Tonight, I'm hoping to finish chapter 10 of my book.

There are 15 chapters planned.

My goal is to do one chapter a day for the rest of the week.

Right now it's Tuesday.

Yeah, and so then Wednesday will be 11.

Thursday will be 12.

Friday will be 13.

Saturday will be 14 and then Sunday, I'll finish hopefully.

And if that is what is going to happen, then this vlog will be late because it won't be on Sunday because I'm going to wait and finish out because I don't want to have a vlog that just has like one or two days, you know, if I'm going to finish it.

Cuz I won't need to continue this once the actual, like, NaNo bit for myself is done.

Because I got these damn damn prompts to keep doing, so.

I think Rachel just texted me, ready to go.

So I will see you guys on the flip side.

Well, that was super fun.

I finished chapter 10, Act Two of my book and it's getting saucy up in this bitch.

So I'm at 37,200 words.

I've had some vodka by the way.

Sad thing, I don't really, I don't even drink that much.

And then I started doing National Novel Writing Month on YouTube.

And now I drink all the time.

But with Rachel, so, how many words did you do Rachel?

2842 today, which brings me to 31,226.

31,226 words that this bitch has written over here!

Yay.

I just want to be done.

Morning.

I haven't done, like, a morning vlog in a long time.

It's 6am.

I just have to do the same thing I've been doing every day this month.

It's day 19.

It's okay.

It's day 19.

It's only day 19?

What's a going on?

It is now 3:15 in the afternoon, where's -- there's --

Where is she?

That's fine, whatever.

Anyway, we're about to do another livestream at four o'clock.

It's 3:15 right now, I'm getting all that together at the moment.

And this time I will remember to at least record this while I record the screen so I can still do the time lapse footage because I don't know, I'm still doing that.

So my Photoshop just decided to freak out and I'm a little bit freaked out.

I don't know why it won't open, I don't know why it shut down in the first place.

I make all of my stupid thumbnails that -- I hate thumbnails in the first place.

If I don't have Photoshop, I don't know what I'm gonna do right now.

It's been, like, 15 minutes, it will not open, it's just frozen on that thing, and I restarted my computer, and it's just not working.

So I would really love it, Photoshop, if you could get it together because I pay for you every month.

All right, well, here's to livesprints.

So okay, I'm talking to the vlog, Rachel's on the phone right now, here's the thing, is that I have been doing every thing off of my external hard drive, and in whatever Photoshop debacle that just happened, I don't know why, but now suddenly my computer is no longer recognizing said hard drive.

So Rachel is here on the phone trying to keep me in the Zendrew breathing mode, because that hard drive currently has everything and this vlog might not ever even get seen.

I don't even know why I'm talking to the camera.

There could potentially be no point.

Oh, my God.

Everything's fine.

I have six minutes until we go live, and then I just right now finished the thumbnail and set everything up.

I've got the livestream all done.

My computer's recognizing my thing again, so it's cool.

So I'm just gonna put this up over here, like I usually do, but like one of the other little writing sessions on this vlog, you can pretty much watch this whole thing happen, but this time, no whiskey.

I'm technically still on YouTube live in the middle of a writing sprint, but I'm done.

So I'm just gonna say goodnight here.

I'm muted so they don't know that I'm being blasphemous.

I'm spending this, this writing sprint here with you saying goodbye.

See you tomorrow.

So I haven't really done much today.

I'm so tired.

It’s like 5:30 but it's already super dark.

This one down here doesn't know that she is getting a b-o-n-e and let's -- see, soon as I pull out the camera she moves away from me.

But I wanted to grab her reaction because I bought her a mega bone.

I've been doing all my own reactions this month and I've been trying to get her on camera this whole entire time and she hates it.

She always runs away.

She's so rude, but I really wanted to get a reaction to this bone.

Okay, I'm outside right now.

This is the bone, so it's huge.

I'll go write on in and give it to her.

Also, Canon g7x mark ii night scene.

Good lighting.

But now let's go see how she reacts to it.

It's like so slimy.

See the slime?

Wha's dah?

What is a big bone?

What is this?

It's big as you.

That's as big as you.

Where'd you get that?

Where'd you get that?

Piper?

Can you at least -- can you say thanks?

Can I get a kiss?

Can you give me a kiss?

Can I?

Can you say thank you to me?

Can you say thanks?

I have some on my hand for you can lick it off.

Piper.

Hey, can I have a kiss?

Do you see how she ignores me?

She's so rude.

How you gonna eat that?

What is up to everybody?

It's 10:11, I'm on with Rachel again.

Oh, you can see her in my glasses.

There she is like literally -- oh, she's waving

We are gonna do a little night sess.

It is midnight for her.

It is 10 for me, and when we are done, it will be midnight for me and time for me to watch the series finale of Supernatural.

And I heard that it was really sad already.

There was Miss phasered, Tara from her little livestream the other night, she was already talking about how she was a mess.

She said she literally hadn't cried that hard since her dad died.

I was like, I don't know how I'm gonna handle this.

So I'll let you know, but first I gotta get write on in to almost being done with getting write on in to this book.

What up?

I finished my chap and stuff.

Your chap.

Chapter 12 of The Fight to Save the Future.

I have three chapters left.

I'm trying to shoot for three days left of the bullsh*t before I can be done.

I don't hate it.

Now I'm getting to like the end -- the climax, if you will -- and so I'm just ready to let em duke it out.

Let them fight it out.

Let the solution come, and get write on in with being done with his mother.

Bye!

What is up everybody?

It is only two o'clock in the afternoon.

I'm about to go get write on in with Rachel and then I think I'm gonna just chill out for the night

Maybe I'll go try and watch a movie with that one over there.

Hey, Piper, you want to watch a movie?

You want to watch a movie later?

Well, anyway, I'm gonna go write with Rachel, get it over with and I've already done the prompt.

I'm not releasing this vlog until next week since I'm going to finish the book on Sunday.

I'm still on track for that, which is great.

And then yeah, I think I really will be just watching a movie and enjoying my Friday night.

Oh my goodness.

What is that like?

Also, just because I don't think I'm gonna include it in this actual vlog, I did record my reaction to the Supernatural finale.

And what I will say is that I had texted my friend who has not yet seen it as of this recording, and I told her if you did not like that send-off episode, you are not a fan.

I then get on the internet and find out apparently I'm the only fan with Tara over at phasered.

So thanks, Tara.

And the critics, it's like the first time I've ever agreed with the critics.

But the fans say that it's like a Game of Thrones-level bad ending.

There's no way you'll ever ever convince me of that.

But I have a Supernatural season tier ranking video coming out soon.

I was just waiting for said final episode before I made final rankings.

So stay tuned for that.

I can't wait to have my first argument on YouTube.

Oh my goodness, I'm almost done.

I've got 45,250 words, I hope, because every time I keep thinking I'm close to that 50,000 I keep finding more documents that I have accidentally checked to include into this word count.

And this time that happened and I lost 3000 words.

So it's fine.

It's not a big deal.

So it's fine.

I just have two chapters left.

I've 4700 words to make it happen.

Like I said in my livestream the other night, I basically designed this stupid story that I love to be like 50,000 in one words, and it's literally looking like it's gonna be like 50,000 and maybe three, so we'll be done soon enough.

And so will Rachel for her first ever book.

How's it going everyone?

It's like, I don't know, five o'clock, only five o'clock it's just so, so dark.

I hate this at the frickin winter time.

I'm here with Rachel again.

We're just gonna do another writing session.

Tomorrow is gonna be our livestream and that's what I'm gonna finish this book.

So I have two chapters left.

I've only got 4800 words left until I hit the 50,000 so I'm pretty much just gonna like do 2500 in this chapter and 2500 in the next chapter, and then I'll be done with this book.

And that's pretty exciting to me.

And then I'll trim up my neck because I decided that I was just going to wait until the end of the writing of the book, and then I'll trim my neck because and that's like the whole novel impact thing or whatever, whatever.

So that'll happen tomorrow.

And that's exciting.

So let's get write on in for the second to last time.

Okay, so I, I really my this book literally might be like 50,001 words, I have 2720 words left.

And I just have one chapter if I need to make an epilogue.

But I still think that that's pretty good for having constructed this book out of my ass from scratch out of a random generator just on YouTube.

But I am very, very close.

I'm very, very close, very, very close to being done.

What is going on everybody?

I'm about to write the end of this book.

I cannot wait to be done with this book.

It has been a fun journey.

But I'm definitely ready for it to be finished.

I am currently wearing the exact same shirt that I wore the night that all this started, I have purchased a bottle of the same wine that I drank the night that all of this started and I'm about to do a livestream with Rachel and Lezlie, even, The Nerdy Narrative is coming to hang out with us for a little bit.

I'm literally so excited that that just makes it a one time thing all worth it.

She's so great.

I'm so happy that she's gonna not even just like hop on and be in the comments.

But like proper, like, come and say hi on the live stream that makes me super happy.

So I'm not going to this, this bottle of wine will be done by the end of the day.

But it's also only 10:50 in the morning right now.

So I will just be pouring myself a glass to finish the book with celebration.

And then after that, it's Sunday funday.

Okie dokie, this book is DONE!

Oh, my God, I'm so excited.

Oh, my God, it's done.

It's done!

And it was 50,008 words

I literally, I've said it.

I constructed this book to be 50,000 words on the dot from scratch out of a generator man, and I'm currently having, this is the first glass, okay, I'm not over here drunk.

I'm literally just excited.

But I am finishing off with a glass of the wine that started this book, wearing the same shirt that I was wearing now, what, three months ago and I randomly put those generators in the genre or the genres and the generators.

So I'm glad that I'm finished with this book now.

Wow.

Wow, this has been such a crazy journey.

And just in case anyone has made it this far in the vlog, because I know this one's longer than normal since I added on yesterday and today since I was finishing none of this, I have not had one private moment with this book.

I don't really know how else to explain that.

I feel like I've said that, but I feel like people don't really understand what that means or what that feels like.

But regardless of who has or has not been reading, or watching or who may or may not ever come around, but this whole book is on my YouTube channel on my website from scratch, like from conception to completion, and I didn't have any time alone with it.

And that was, I don't know how to explain that to people, especially to other writers, because I don't really know any other writers who have done this this way.

Like we share our work, obviously, but I I've just never seen someone else do it from like, I just got the idea right now all the way through to the end.

So it's it really has been hard to explain to people exactly how much pressure I have felt.

Even though I am still a small channel even though I don't have a huge following even though I only have a few people who have been reading me and watching me and I'm really grateful for the support that I have had.

It's one of those things where like even one pair of eyes is a pair of eyes and it just stresses me out.

But I'm gonna go clean up the neck beard because now that this NaNo experience is done, this whole novel impact thing is done, this is what I look like at the end.

I'll do some sort of side by side comparison of what I look like when I started versus now.

It's crazy that it's only been three weeks because I feel like I look nine years older, like with -- this beard grew in so thick and so fast and with such a vengeance but oh my god, I am done.

Oh, my God, I'M DONE!

I can't believe these are real horse names.

This is a transcript for the included video, best read while listening along.

Mr. Saturday Night?

Why would you name your horse Mr. Saturday night?

Your horse??

What's going on everybody?

How y'all doing out there?

Welcome back to my channel.

My name is Andrew, for those of you who do not know, and today, I am just going to carry on with my review of/dragging of my 2014 self and the old writing videos that I used to put out during National Novel Writing Month of 2014.

This is also day 18 of No Shave November, and my neck beard especially is strong, and to the jury is still out as to whether or not I can or should shave it.

I did check the official rules over on the No Shave November website, and it does say that if I need it to shave for work to keep it clean, then I can, but I don't necessarily think that that is a must for this.

And my friend Rachel says that I have committed and I must carry forward with the neck beard through November, and Lezlie at The Nerdy Narrative and Hunky Hubby Chris tell me that they think that I should go ahead and just clean it up.

So let me know in the comments what you think.

But as soon as November is done, I am done with this debate.

And I also don't know why this middle of November decided to turn into a summer day, but it is toasty, so I have dressed down for this occasion.

Anyway, that's enough blabber about all that for now.

Let's just Get Write On In!

All right, welcome back, everybody.

So, I'm back just on my Andrew J. Stillman channel over here.

There are three videos left.

Today, I am doing one, and then in a few days I'll be finishing off with the last two. The -- one of them is 13 minutes long on those last two, so I'm not really sure how that's gonna go.

But this one's only five minutes long today.

So that shouldn't be that big of a deal, I hope.

But the title is called, "On Horses and Proper Grammar," and this time I actually think --

I haven't set up the screen recording yet, I know, here

This time I think I'll actually leave in this is the channel right here.

Yay.

And the title and everything.

I usually just leave in the screen, but here's what it all looks like.

I mean, I'm gonna give myself a like, why not?

I am subscribed to myself.

But whatever.

This channel, this channel is funny.

But anyway, this is called, "On Horses and Proper Grammar."

And before I get in, I have a prediction because I don't exactly remember what happens in this video.

But I'm pretty sure, especially because of the part that talks about on horses, I'm pretty sure that I named a horse maybe in this video.

Or I did this video because of a horse I had just named for this book.

This book.

I had given the horse that my main character, Donovan, was riding around and it was named Myotomo.

And when I went to New Zealand, I was staying at a house with this lady named Ruth, and she was so nice and so amazing.

And she was helping this guy out on his farm and there was this horse that she was helping him name because it was kind of wild.

And I was talking about how the horse looked like Myotomo and Ruth was just like, "Oh, it's interesting that you say that."

Because where we were in New Zealand was called "Waitomo," and she was like, "Tomo is cave."

And that's, like, what Waitomo is known for is the glow worm caves.

And so she was like, "I think that like if you're cool with it, I named this horse Myotomo."

And so we had a horse named Myotomo in New Zealand.

I've probably…

In this journal here somewhere, I don't know.

Where's Ruth?

The cow!

That's a whole different story.

Yeah, okay, right here I found it in my my New Zealand journal.

"The guy who owns the farm of the horse that houses Myotomo that I got to name."

Anyway. Let's see if that's what happens in this video.

What am I even, like, waiting around for?

I'm so stupid.

Hello again, everybody. Welcome. Welcome back to my NaNoWriMo podcast kind of I guess.

I've got --

Podcast. Okay.

--my root beer and French Vanilla.

Go get you some.

I should have got me some.

I didn't get me some root beer and French vanilla.

I even found out on the last one.

I should have done it, whatever.

And I am about 24,000 words in right now.

It's day six of NaNo.

So with actual NaNo being 50,000 words, and I'm at about 24,000, I'm about halfway through NaNo within the first week.

But we've already discussed that I'm crazy and I'm doing 84,000 words.

So, I still have 60,000 words to go.

I feel like I like my beard in this.

Like, and now that, like, when I first was doing these reaction videos

was when I had first shaved off for No Shave November.

So now that, like, I have a full beard.

I mean, obviously like I'm kind of self conscious about this part because it's like super obvious now that I have major neck beard.

But I had this thing, this, like I said, this was a new beard, but I have this, so, I had this thing nice and clean when I first grew it out.

So props to past Andrew for beard cleanliness.

So I almost haven't even started NaNo yet.

So I was going through the introduction to the ice kingdom yesterday, which is going to be called Parnalder, if you didn't know.

Who would have known?

Who would have known that, Andrew?

Who would have known that?

Who knows that now?

If you've read the first book, if --

You do, now, by the way.

Whoever you on the other side of the screen, whoever you are. Now you know that I have an ice world called Parnalder.

-- and mentioned to Vivandria being a serious bitch.

Vivandria!

I remember Vivandria!

Hold on, what did I just say?

If you've read the first book, there's a mention to Vivandria being a serious bitch.

She is.

I wrote her introduction yesterday.

She is on fire, but not really cuz she's frozen.

So, I don't know, I have to think of a different --

She is!

She's a bioootch.

She's, she's cold.

She's a cold, hard, bitch.

Also, if -

She is! I was very forceful about that.

I feel like now I would I would try to do like what I just did, like she's a biotch.

But back then, I was like, "No. She's a bitch."

Oh man, but she is seriously.

If you've read Immortality Awaits.

In the same scene in chapter eight, nine?

Chapter nine, when they go off --

Wait, hold on.

Immortality Awaits, chapter nine.

What's going on in chapter nine?

I know what's going on, okay, where where am I?

--to retrieve the first object from Liarda?

Okay.

Gabrielle promises her horse that if she makes it out of alive, she will name it.

Wait, wait, I haven't found that.

Here we go.

Found it.

Okay, page 126, "'Be good boy,' she said as she rubbed his nose."

This book is so terrible.

"'If I make it back in one piece, I promise to give you a name.'"

Okay, okay, now I'm caught up with what I'm saying in this video.

-- her horse that if she makes it out alive, she will name it.

She made it out, but she lied.

So yesterday, I was on the phone with my sister, and she likes horses.

She'd always wanted one whenever we were a kid.

And I gave Gabrielle another horse for their journey and decided that she needed to name it, because she made a promise that she didn't keep up.

So I asked my sister to give me a letter. and I went through to try to find a couple of horse names.

There's actually a website, well there's a lot of websites, but there's just this one in particular that I went to and I just found the oddest names for horses.

Hold on.

Okay, so "find names for your horses."

Is this where I went?

And in fact is this what I did?

I think this is what I did.

Oh, it is, because I already remember talking about Midnight Express in this video.

So I would love to go through that right now to see what kind of horse names I find, but I'm now curious as to what names I talked about that day.

Baywatch Babe.

Apple Jacks.

Make Me A Star.

Be My Valentine.

These are horse names that I just found on that place, okay.

Good As It Gets.

Captain Canada.

Bite My Dust.

Expecting to Fly.

I will say, at least I, like, as awkward as I still am in these videos, that I was progressively getting less awkward from the first one, which I think is also the same that I would say still for this channel, as well.

So that's funny.

Magic Star Pusher.

Mr. Nibbles.

Auto Rotate.

Batteries Not Included.

But seriously, who, who would give that to their horse?

"Hi, this is my horse, 'Batteries Not Included.'"

I'm sorry if you're an equestrian and if that makes sense.

And if I'm just wrong.

I apologize.

I don't get that one.

Here's a weird one: Tailor Made Fantasy.

Oh, that is kind of a weird one.

Mr. Saturday Night.

Ain't Misbehavin'.

Why would you name your horse Mr. Saturday Night?

Your horse??

An Affair To Remember.

Why would you name this to your horse??

I don't understand!

I'm not surprised that I made this video, actually.

Now on reflection of this, I'm not surprised that I put out stuff like this.

That's like, "Excuse me! Why are you naming your horses Mr. Saturday Night and An Affair to Remember??"

I'm scared to keep watching this video, but it's almost over.

I went with Midnight.

Midnight?

Midnight!

It's the horse name I chose for Gabrielle.

Gabrielle was Midnight, Donovan was Myotomo.

In light of grammar, I went and typed "whom" she had named Midnight.

And then I didn't know if that was actually a grammatically correct sentence or not.

That would definitely be something I would get caught up in, in the first draft stage.

But that's because it wasn't my first book.

So if it's your first book, just write it.

And who cares if it's grammatically correct or not?

And you go back later.

I was also 24,000 words in on day six.

So I definitely had some time to kill during this NaNo.

--because I didn't know if you use "whom" for a horse.

Believe it or not, I'm not the only person who has Googled that.

And it came up as one of the searches, "Do you use "whom" for a horse?

But mostly whatever it comes to is yes.

Yes, you can use "who" or "whom" for an animal.

They can be considered, I guess a person?

Obviously, this was recorded before I had my dog.

Oh, the little baby.

Oh, who's the wittle baby?

Anyway, I think that sounds better than that.

This is what we call a complication of the editing phase.

This is also what happens when you write 25,000 words in six days.

There's this little thing called sanity, and it just seems to dwindle.

Well, I think that's about it for today.

So, thank you for watching and listening.

If you're taking part in NaNo, I feel you.

Keep plugging.

We'll do this.

It'll happen. It'll be done soon.

Please.

I feel that right now on November 17th 2020 so much more than I felt that on November 6 2014, let me tell ya.

Don't name your horse Mr. Saturday Night.

I still agree with that right there.

Don't name your horse Mr. Saturday Night.

That's a terrible name for a horse.

That's, like, a really, like, that's, like, two men and a horse.

And like that guy that died or something because… he probably named that horse Mr. Saturday Night. And then like, it's so stressful. I don't know what to… I don't know what… I don't like that.

Okay, anyway, that one wasn't as bad as any of the other ones.

I'm also glad that it was short.

The next one will be longer just because it's going to be two of them, because I didn't want to stretch these out into five videos.

And that last one, I'm pretty sure it will just be a quick little recap.

And I don't think that I'm going to be as sad at the end of these videos as I was at the end of my blog, because I'm pretty sure I just kept these videos during that NaNo.

And once that NaNo was done, I was just like, yeah, okay, that was fun.

So like, there was only five, whereas like my blog was, like, I had put so much work into that.

And that was something that I really screwed myself over on, I feel.

But, I think the next one will be fun to wrap it all up.

And then it's weird also, then that that's going to wrap it all up, because that'll be the end of this month of self reflection.

And believe me, yo, it's been crazy.

Thanks so much for watching.

Thanks for being here today.

If you haven't seen any of those other reaction videos, they're interesting.

I don't know, I like the blog ones myself, just because it's been fun to go back down past things that I've written, including my poetry and reading from my poems out loud and like whatever.

It's been a fun journey.

So thanks for being here and I will see you all…

I don't know, I'm here every day this month.

Novel Impact Week Two -- #NaNoWriMo2020 Brings Out the Tears Already

YouTube has yet to do the autotranslate of the subtitles, so transcript still pending :)

Finding out I used to be pretty cool.

**The following is a transcript, best read while viewing the above video.**

Oh… Oh God, Lezlie, you really want me to be nice to this kid?

Seriously, some things just never change.

Hello, hello everybody!

How you all doing out there?

Welcome back to my channel!

I hope this video is finding you well.

My name, for those of you who do not know, is Andrew, and I am knee-ass deep in some reflection in this November of 2020.

Today, I'm going to be reacting to another writing video that I made six years ago.

Last week had me dragging 2014 Andrew through the mud and Lezlie, over at the Nerdy Narrative, tells me I have to be nicer to him this week.

We'll see what happens.

While we're on the topic of Lezlie though, special thanks to Lezlie, for reading every chapter of this draft that I am writing for National Novel Writing Month this year.

Additional special thanks goes out to Jessi, at the Bookish Mom, and Liz, at Galactic Reads, for just watching my videos, and encouraging me, and enjoying my writing journey as much as I am enjoying reflecting on it.

And super, super, extra special thanks out to my friend Rachel, who has not only done all of my tutorials and prompts, she is also writing her own first book, and has offered to help me with my subtitles.

So, thanks Rachel!

That really, like, saves me a lot of time and I'm really appreciative of that.

So, I have no idea what today's video is about to bring.

We are not going to find out if I just keep sitting here yapping.

So, without further ado, let's Get Write On In!

Okay, so we are back here on my channel.

This video is just called NaNoWriMo Day Three.

I know you can't see that because I just have the piece of screen on just me.

Um, Skillet sweatshirt already, off the bat I'm not surprised.

One of my old roommates gave me that sweatshirt that I'm wearing, right there, so, there it is.

But, let's see what was going on on National Novel Writing Month Day 3, 2014.

This is the month that produced this book, that is not out anywhere, so, um, yeah.

Well, I'm interested to see what was going on while I was writing this six years ago.

NaNo!

Oh, oh God, Lezlie, you really want me to be nice to this kid?

For those of you wondering about the glamorous life of a writer, this is about as real as it gets.

So, I am participating in NaNoWriMo this year.

Hey, I said it 'rimo', I usually say 'remo' so, I'm pretty proud of myself for this here.

Um, I've got my NaNo mug ready to go…

And right here, still right here, still have this mug.

I've been… I had coffee out of it just this morning, nice and fresh.

I am in full swing on my word count.

Uh, I'm about 12,000 words in already.

Three days? Okay!

It's only day three but my crazy, crazy, crazy ass… pardon my French… I'm deciding to… Well, I want to try to finish out the draft of Tides of Darkness this month, which is going to be about 84,000 words.

That's a lot.

That is a lot of words.

Did I write all that in that month?

I think I did.

Wow!

And I think that that might have been my cap.

Right now my cap is a 104,000 words of a book in a month, that just happened in July of 2020.

With a book that had no plot, no plan, no nothing.

I just was like, "This is a fun idea! Let me sit down and write it out and see how far I get."

Boom! 100,000 words later, halfway.

Sure.

What's next?

I've done NaNo one time before.

And for those of you who do NaNo, or have done NaNo, or have friends who do NaNo…

I've always been self-conscious about my hair.

Can you tell?

Yeah, and it's still, like, so awkward but the hair regrowth is coming along.

So I'm bringing that hairline back.

They talk about it all the time, and you have no idea what they're doing.

The goal is 50,000 words.

My goal is 84.

I really don't know why I'm doing this to myself, but I'm at 12.

Six years later, same question.

12,000 words so far, so that's kind of exciting.

It's only day three. It is only day three, ladies and gentlemen.

Maybe not, by the time you're watching this.

I don't know, I don't know when I'm gonna upload it.

So, for those of you who are also participating in that…

I did upload it on day three.

No editing with this.

You can even just hear me clicking.

Uh, I hope you're doing alright out there, it's kind of a stressful.

Hope you're doing alright.

See? I'm always hoping the best for everybody.

Well, kind of a stressful little event, if you've never done it before, especially…

Um, I'm pretty sure I'm not drinking coffee.

…if you like caffeine if you're trying to hype yourself up on some caffeine.

What I discovered last night…

Okay my roommate, she's watching this. I didn't… I didn't… I…I didn't… I didn't get the ingredients.

…that I am now claiming to be the best drink ever.

Take some root beer, preferrably Barqs, because it's the best, and put some French Vanilla in it.

There you go! You are welcome.

Like, root beer float in a glass.

I'm gonna have to do that.

I really… I'm gonna have to do that.

I should have done that for today, but I'm gonna have to do that.

I just made a root beer float for you, kind of.

Try it out, not even kidding it's really good.

Okay, root beer float, still said it.

So, 1,667 words a day is what the average word count is, if you want to complete NaNoWriMo, for those 50,000 words.

It's even written on the, uh, NaNoWriMo facts, here on the mug that I am obsessed with, see there were six…

I have two of these now.

The other one's downstairs.

I drink it with tea, it's tall and slender.

I'll bring it out next time, or something.

…1,667. So far, I have been averaging 5,000 words a day.

So, we'll see how that goes because it's only the beginning of day three right now.

I've only been awake for an hour, so I don't know.

NaNo's kind of crazy this year.

Uh, there seems to be a lot of people participating, a lot of first-timers, a lot of people returning…

As per usual.

I learned something from doing the first NaNo, that 50,000 words, in and of itself, in one month, is not that hard.

Not that bad.

I was literally about to say that just right now.

I'm glad that I said it back then.

It's really not that bad.

And even my friend Rachel, who I mentioned at the beginning of this video, she has said the same thing.

That the more she continues, the more she realizes that it's not as bad as it sounds once you actually get started.

So go write!

GO WRITE!

Oh gosh! Did I just like turn into Shia LaBeouf for a second there?

Like, you can do it, or whatever, really angry video he has.

I don't know.

However, 50,000 words of the same novel, same characters, same plot, same setting, same whatever, is a lot more difficult.

Also truth.

Depending on how into the story you are.

Why? I don't know.

But, if you have not partaken in NaNoWriMo, and you have friends who do it, and you're trying to learn a little bit more, I guess, about what they're trying to do, think of it like this.

When you're in high school, college, whatever, and you have essays that are due.

Say you have to write a five… five to seven hundred word essay.

You have a week to do it, and you freak out because you're like "Oh my God! Five to seven hundred words is so much!

My life is over! Yadda yadda."

You wait until the very last minute to bust out a 700-word essay.

You put all your time into it, it kind of sucks, and, uh, you're just ready for it to be over.

Well, uh, NaNo is like three of those essays a day.

Without the research, really though, depending I guess on what you're writing for the essay, and for the book.

…of your friends who are participating in NaNoWriMo, just think of it that.

They're writing three essays a day and that's why their life sucks.

Why do we do this to ourselves?

I mean I don't know.

That is a good question though.

Why do we do this to ourselves?

My sister asked me the same exact question, why I think this is fun?

Because it doesn't sound fun.

And I'm not surprised my sister asked me that question.

It doesn't.

She's right, none of this sounds fun.

None of this really is fun, until it's over.

I don't know how I feel about that statement, mixed emotions.

But, will agree that once it's over, it feels better than one, whatever is happening while it's happening.

When it's over, and you look back at the last 30 days of shenanigans…

Or the last six years.

…agree that you've just survived, and you haven't actually shoved your head through the window like you want to, um, then it makes everything all worth it.

I will also be just as happy if I can say the same thing at the end of this NaNo.

Because even though the first draft is never good, I mean you at least have the first draft.

And it's definitely a lot easier to edit something, than edit nothing.

So, if you're doing NaNo, you're on day three, keep going, just keep plugging along.

Find…

I agree.

…15-20 minutes a day, to just write, and just don't worry about it.

Always remember, at least, that I'm shooting for 84,000.

So you can think about how crazy I am whenever you are trying to hit your 50,000 word mark.

And there's plenty of other people who are going for more than 50….

I'm so into the lack of coffee stains on my teeth in this video.

…50,000 words, and it's not impossible but I sit here I've completed three of the 23 chapters that I have planned for the rest of NaNo.

And, uh, yeah, so, we got, oh you know, 19 left and I'm trying not to freak out about that.

We will see.

Hopefully, by the end of the month my head is still intact.

Because…

I guess it is.

…last night I really wanted to bash it into the keyboard.

Standard.

So, yeah, it should be an interesting month time.

I'm actually quite liking what I'm producing.

I'm trying to give myself enough time…

Quite liking it?

[ __ ]

You're sitting here six years later, with it sitting right next to you, and no one else has read it before.

Okay, okay, "quite liking it" my ass.

…to reread the chapters when it's finished.

Even though you're not supposed to for NaNo, because it's not about editing.

And I don't edit, I just like to make sure that it's at least coherent enough that I will be able to work with it later.

Because I don't want to write gdfjhghfs;asdkjhg;dlsailjndf like that…

Um, excuse me?

What did I just say?

Because I don't want to write everything down [ __ ] like that.

Because that's what word vomit sounds like, when you type it, you just hit all the keys.

I don't want to be like that.

Okay, wow!

First of all, yes, that is what word vomit sounds like… or whatever the hell I just said.

Second of all, yeah, that's definitely what angry Andrew looks like when he's hitting some keyboard keys.

Get out.

So I guess some things have never changed.

Oh man, I want it to be nice, and somewhat legible.

Is it obvious that I live in a dream world?

So, yeah, NaNo's in full swing.

Seriously, some things just never change.

Let's keep this going, if you're doing NaNo, good job!

I'm right there with you, we're all a nice, supportive team.

My username on NaNo is andrewjstillman.

So, if you want to add me feel free.

We can be buddies!

Happy NaNo everybody!

Oh… oh wow!

Okay, first of all, that got really awkward at the end.

I agree with everything else.

Uh, andrewjstillman is my NaNo name still.

You can be my friend if you want still.

Even though for as much promotion of NaNo, and involvement in NaNo I do, I don't have anything, like, on my NaNo profile except for the first book I ever did.

Because that was the only time I ever, you know what I mean, like, every other time is has just been more for fun, or just for the excuse of finding a reason to write something.

That was interesting.

That one was not as awkward for me, not at all.

I… I don't think that I was anywhere near as awkward as I was on the first video, that I just did from last week.

It is interesting, I know that next, or at least I think, next week I'm doing two videos, because they're only like two or three minutes each or something. And then those ones are actual, I think, more writing advice.

But it's interesting for me to think about, like, where this was at that time.

What chapter did I start on?

I started on chapter 20.

So I started… I was right here in the book.

But even some of what I even just read, one of my favorite chapters in this series was written in this month.

Right here, Chapter 21, "Internal Treachery."

That is one of my favorite chapters in the whole book.

I have all of my notes written all over everything, all the things that I wanted to cross out, and change and all the things that I never shared with anybody.

Well, I suppose there's that.

Oh, my dog!

Do you want to come say hi?

Can you… can you come say hello?

Will you say hello?

Can you say hello?

She's the worst.

Anyway, thank you all so much for watching!

I had fun again, revisiting all of this.

It is really weird to think about all of the things that I haven't done, I guess, more so than things that I have.

That's another reason I was really trying to do these kind of reflection videos.

I know a lot of people who are scared to start, just personally.

Like, I… I mean that on an actual, like, I know people in my personal life who… and not even just writing, but over anything.

So, I wanted to really take this opportunity to hopefully shed some light on that and for some people to maybe get some hope out of really just that simple statement of getting started somewhere.

I look forward to looking back on more videos, especially videos from this channel now, in future years.

I just hit 100 subscribers, so that was fun for me!

It oscillates, it goes up, it goes down.

So who knows where I'll be at in six years?

But I just certainly hope that I just get less awkward.

But I don't know because I'm pretty sure I'm still an awkward ass.

Thank you for watching!

Thanks again to Lezlie, Jessi, Liz, Rachel, all the other people that I love and watch all over BookTube!

You guys keep me going.

It's nice to be part of a community that is steadily building for everybody.

So, I am enjoying everything that's going on, and all these connections that I'm making.

So, thank you for letting me introduce myself and be part of that "family".

So, I will see you all on Sunday when…

Oh my gosh!

Sunday I'm gonna have… I'm crying.

I have a video in my vlog, and I cried, so NaNo 2020 brought the tears out of me alread

So, yeah, Sunday I'll be crying… crying watching rugby.

Okay, so I don't know what happened to me, but I guess you'll have to check out on Sunday to see for yourself.

See you then!

Novel Impact: #NaNoWriMo, Week One

**The following is the transcript for the above video. Although it can be read, it's best when certain things can be seen or heard :)**

I also feel like I just sounded like a velociraptor. 

*Velociraptor noise*

Okay, that's what happens when you listen to Jurassic Park on audiobook, apparently.

Oh, who's this? 

Oh, hello. 

I just shaved my face for the first time in, like, six years, so this is what I look like in my 30s. 

I have some thoughts. 

First of all, I just got out of the shower, so, my face is cold. 

It was very strange to feel water actually on it, but I also think that I kind of look good. 

It's weird that’s, like, my smile. 

Like, my actual smile, so it's very strange. 

So, this is what I look like, without a beard, in my 30s.

Okay, I just finished out day one of The Fight to Save the Future. 

I think that's the title I’m going with, it says “The Chase to Find the Future” on the actual document, but I think “The Fight to Save the Future” sounds better, but we will see. 

And thanks to all the BookTubers! 

Right now I’m on Abby Salter, I was on The Library of Allenxandria earlier. 

You two got me through today on this first writing session. 

And there's many more BookTubers that I will be shouting out in this writing vlog. 

Today is the day one. 

I’m so tired. 

I have my second coffee here, but I guess just as a side note, I filmed my whole trailer this morning, I shaved my face this morning, I filmed the writing prompt, I did the writing prompts, and I did this whole — 

I did 2008 words in the actual book, and then my response was 228 words, so I did about 2,300 words today, and I’m happy with that. 

So, thanks for watching, and I will see you all tomorrow. 

Yay! 

There it is, day one!

What's up, everyone? 

It's late, I’m about to get write on in. 

I have to do today's daily writing. 

I’m already kind of behind. 

I didn't write yesterday. 

It's only the second right now. 

I started on the 31st because I had to start filming all this stuff, so I’m, like, a day ahead/a day behind, so it's crazy. 

There's so much other stuff that I have to do this month now, I guess, since I’m doing the daily writing prompts, I still have my regular content coming out on my channel… 

And I guess it's weird, because that now has become, like, my “job” part, I guess? 

Meaning that, normally when I do NaNo, I’m working in a restaurant or traveling. 

Those are really, like, the only other times I’ve ever done NaNo before, and so now, this time I’m still having to, you know, find that balance, that work-life balance. 

I’m doing other things as well as just writing this book, you know? 

This — I haven't even turned that on, yet, but, um, I’m gonna be streaming some BookTubers. 

I did that for my day one. 

Let's just get write on in to this session today. 

I also have to respond to today's prompt, so, fun!

So, I just finished, it's just after midnight, I don't care. 

It — I didn't finish the chapter. 

I usually, I do like to try and write my chapters.

I’ve said on this channel before, and I’m — I actually am saying this to myself to practice what I preach. 

I don't know what I was gonna say, I’m so tired actually I forgot. 

I know what I was trying to say, wow, this is literally, like, what it's like to be exhausted. 

Some days you're gonna write 20,000 words, and it's gonna feel great, and some days, you're gonna have to force out 1,761, which is today for me. 

And I’m already a day behind, but tomorrow, and for the re—

It's gonna start picking up for the rest of the week, I’m just having a hard time getting started. 

But today, I was watching Lezlie over at The Nerdy Narrative this whole entire time, so, thanks Lezlie, for keeping me company and talking about books, because it was interesting. 

Tomorrow, and in the next coming few days, I’m going to have a lot better writing sessions. 

Today, it was forced. 

It's 12:06, but now I have to just make the thumbnail for this, and the thumbnail for the writing prompt, and then those have to come out at six o'clock in the morning, it's 12:06 right now. 

And then I have to get up at, like, five or six in the morning, and I have to subtitle and do the thumbnail for the video that's coming out tomorrow, and then I have the dentist at 10 a.m, and then after that I have to record my next reaction video, and then do my writing tomorrow. 

And then Wednesday is when I’m gonna be able to get write on in to, like, really getting write on in. 

The life of the writer there, man.

Okay, well, it is three o'clock in the afternoon right now, and I’m about to finally get write on in. 

I’m only… 

I think I’m going to do a little bit of writing. 

I was kind of getting down on myself because I’m like, I really want to, like, write a lot. 

Especially because I’m posting it all, I guess, you know? 

So I want to have, like, a bunch to be able to read, but at the same time, I’m also trying to, like, encourage people, and remind people, and remind myself — sorry about the birds — that some words are better than no words. 

And so even if I only pump out a couple 100 today, I’d rather just do that than nothing. 

And honestly, today is November 3rd, and in an hour the results start coming in for the night, and I’m going to be distracted because I just want to know what they're go — what's going to happen. 

So I’m going to get write on in right now, and then, that's it!

Uh, wow, okay, so that went better than I anticipated. 

It's 409 right now, I wrote… How much did I write? 

2223, wow, okay, so there it is! 

Some days you feel like, hey, you don't want to do it. 

Then you sit down to do it anyway and then you write 600 more words than you're supposed to when you thought you weren't even gonna hit the word count for the day. 

So there you go. 

There's day — I don't know what day I’m on.

Whatever, there's the end of chapter two.

How is it going everybody? 

NaNo day five! 

That's about how I feel, but today, I’ve got my breakfast, I finally get to have a morning writing session. 

It's 9:30 right now, I was actually about to start writing the book at, like, 8:45, but I have my friend E. Ardell, Eboni. 

I’ve talked about her a little bit before, she does all these little skits on her vlog, and we're gonna do one for mine! 

And so this morning when I was showering, I came up with the whole script, and I actually just ended up writing that whole thing, and I’m really excited because I think it'll be funny. 

But now I have some time to write, because I don't have anything else to do today except for edit tomorrow's video, but that's fine. 

I’m not worried about it. 

But I’m excited to get write on in to NaNo day five. 

Today I am going to be binging The Bookish Mom and her videos. 

I — yesterday I-I was watching Jessie Mae, I don't think I said anything about her when I was watching at the end of it. 

But yeah, Jessie Mae got me through yesterday. 

That rhymed! 

But she is the, uh, Shelf Space, that Discord I talk about, is the one that is hers. 

So anyway, I’m gonna get write on in to my writing, and Jessi at The Bookish Mom, and not Jessie Mae, is gonna be the Jessi that gets me through today. 

Oh, my gosh! 

I’m such a little poet and I didn't even know it. 

Also, before I get started, YouTube just recommended my own video to me, so that's cool.

Okay, well, I don't know. 

I just wrote for an hour, and I only got — 

500 words?? 

No, you're lying, what?? 

Just —

Oh, no. 

Oh, my gosh. 

Oh, my gosh. 

It was the screen recording that just popped up, and I started that recording at 500 words, but I ended at a thousand. 

So sorry! 

I just thought that it deleted 500 words and that was why I just freaked out for a second. 

But I only did a thousand words right now, but I wrote for an hour yesterday. 

I wrote for an hour and did 2,300 words, so, see? 

It's whatever, but it's also only 10:26 a.m right now, so I have plenty of time for the rest of the day to at least hit the word count. 

I’m already behind today, whatever. 

Thanks to Jessi, The Bookish Mom, for keeping me company on this little round of adventures. 

I’ve just gotta start editing tomorrow's video, and then get all of that done and so it can start to get uploaded, because once it's uploaded, it takes some time before it does the auto translate so I can do my subtitles. 

So I’ve got to get that up and down and everything and then do tomorrow's writing prompt before I can do any more writing today. 

Oh, my gosh, why am I doing so much stuff? 

It's fine, it's fine. 

All right, so, I set my alarm to take a nap for 2:05 pm… 

AKA 205 am. 

It's 3 pm now, and I just woke up, and I just lost an hour. 

Oops. 

Except for it's all right, because it's just gonna be sleep I’m not gonna get later. 

So I have to film the writing prompts, and then I still have to do all of the edits for tomorrow's videos, and then hopefully finish today's writing. 

But I think that tonight, when I write later on, I’m gonna not have BookTubers. 

Because I love them while they're on, but they're very distracting, and they make it hard to focus. 

So I think tonight, just to get my word count out, I’m just gonna do some regular, like, music and Andrew just writing by himself. 

So we'll see when I get to that later on, but now I have all this video work to do first. 

Yay! 

Okay, well, I — it's not very late, it's dark already because daylight savings time. 

It's only 6:20. 

But I am just gonna do one hour of writing at 6:20. 

Right now all the Shelf Space people are blowing up. 

One hour of writing, and then I’m just gonna hopefully get my word count. 

I’m just gonna turn off all the lights, I’m just gonna be with the light of the screen, and I’m gonna actually just listen to some, like, yoga music or something. 

Got dinner, I’ve got snacks, I’ve got trash all over my desk, people driving around outside, but yeah. 

I just, I need to get some writing done. 

I’m tired, I want to get to sleep. 

I actually want to do yoga tonight, so I need to get to going, because I still have to make some thumbnails and do a bunch of other stuff. 

But I want to connect with myself.

All right, well, that was super fun! 

I like this computer light like this. 

This is kind of, like, mysterious. 

I look like such a writer. 

But yeah, so I just did, uh, 1,200 words or so, so I did 2,209 for the day. 

I wonder how many I have for the whole — oh, that's not right.

8,275 words, how many am I supposed to have today? 

8,335. 

Oh, I’m only 50 words shy of where I’m supposed to be, okay, that's cool. 

So I’ve made up — I’ve made up some time with some extra words, that's pretty cool. 

Oh, I really want to write 50 more words right now… 

Oh, okay. 

There we go. 

I feel a little bit better now. 

Now I feel — now I’m on track. 

8,347 perfect, 12 words ahead, what's up? 

How's that for — how's THAT? 

All right, well, I have to go finish the thumbnails for the prompts and do all the tags and SEOs and descriptions and everything else like… 

Whatever.

But now I’m on track for my words. 

Yay! 

All right, well, it's 1:30 in the afternoon. 

I’m currently sitting downstairs because my room is 85 degrees and I cannot be bothered to turn off the fans to record this. 

But I’m just gonna do a BookTuber marathon right now. 

I haven't decided who yet, I’ll just say at the end. 

Gonna do a little bit of writing, and then I have to go to the endodontist because the dentist thinks that my one of my old root canals is failing. 

That's not even a thing that's interesting for this, but it's just another dentist appointment that I have. 

I have kind of some dental work coming up this month, whatever. 

But I am gonna be dark on the screen again for me, I think. 

I’m just gonna sit in the darkness of my room with the fans on while I write for a little bit.

Well, that was fun. 

I did about an hour of writing just now. 

I watched the wrap-up videos for Abby Salter and Maddie at the Book Browsing Blog, as well as Jessie Mae up on the screen right now because I just finished. 

And I didn't finish my word count for the day, but that's fine because I’m going to write a little bit more later because I want to do another, I think what I did last night, put on some, like, yoga music for, like, 30 to 45 minutes and bust out the rest of this chapter. 

But I’m gonna take a quick little snooze before I go to the endodontist or whatever they're called. 

And then I’m gonna come home and start editing this vlog right now. 

So whenever you, if you ever get to this point of this vlog right now, then you can know that none of what you have watched up until this point has been edited yet. 

And whatever you have watched I’m gonna start on next. 

Okay, I kind of lied, I’m actually gonna do writing. 

I’m gonna finish my today's writing so that I can include it when I start to edit tomorrow's writing vlog, today's writing out, this whole week, and then the writing prompt. 

Oh, my gosh what's today? 

Six? 

Today's day six? 

Okay, how many days do I have left? 

24? 

Okay, cool.

All right, well, that was fun. 

I surpassed my word count again for the day. 

I did 2,300 words. 

I was eating dinner, I think I undercooked my pork a little bit, so I might go cook that back up. 

I’m just gonna be editing my writing vlog and my writing prompts and editing everything else for the rest of the night. 

So it's 5:57, it's — it looks like it's 3 am already, that's cool. 

But hopefully, I can get to bed by, by 10 or so.

We’ll see. 

Ah it's Friday! 

Hooray! 

Any other YouTubers out there, like, the moment you hit record, people drive by? 

Just me? 

Okay, well, this is gonna be my last entry for my first writing vlog. 

Yay, this is actually, like, my first writing vlog ever, ever. 

I also feel like I just sounded like a velociraptor. 

*Velociraptor noise*

Okay, that's what happens when you listen to Jurassic Park on audiobook, apparently. 

But I, it's two o'clock in the afternoon, I just finished tomorrow's prompt, my friend is coming over to hang out. 

She might pop on the vlog, she might not, I’m not really sure. 

Today is just gonna be my last writing session for the week. 

Even though it's Friday, these these vlogs are Saturday-Friday, and then they come out on Sunday, and then I’m a day ahead, but then a day behind, and then there's so much… 

It's weird, it's like my head is in New Zealand, because New Zealand's a day ahead, and my head's been in New Zealand, like, all month, for anyone that's been watching me do that. 

But yeah, so, I just wanted to check in at two o'clock. 

I don't know what time I’m gonna be writing. 

It's not gonna be right now, but I’ll say hi again before I do. 

Also, look, it has been six days since I shaved, and look, it’s, like, almost all the way back. 

My hair — I wish this hair would grow as fast. 

Hi, everybody. 

Okay, so, change of plans. 

Stephanie came over and we ended up, this is wine. 

If you've seen that really God-awful character trait video I made, then you'll have seen me drunk out of this wine glass before. 

But I just didn't do any writing tonight, and I just had to come in and say hello, and say goodbye. 

It was actually… really, what I’m doing and saying goodbye, because this is my closing message. 

Dammit this is my closing message for my first writing vlog! 

This has been a crazy week. 

I don't know what's gonna happen for the rest of the month. 

I’m so appreciative for people like Lezlie over at Nerdy Narrative and Jessie at The Bookish Mom, and Liz at Galactic Reads, and my friend Rachel, and all these people who are just, like, here supporting me every time. 

I just appreciate it. 

People are busy, man.

Like, really, life is hard these days, and people are busy, and it makes me really happy when people take the time to hang out with me and to see what's going on in my life or to read what's going on. 

People haven't really been commenting on my book that I’ve been publishing this week, but I’ve gotten more hits on it than I’ve gotten traffic on any other — like, my November traffic has almost surpassed my October traffic already, and it's just the first week. 

So, I don't know what that means, but thanks, or, I don't know. 

So we'll see what goes on by the end of the month, but this was a really crazy first week. 

It was a little bit hard. 

Being a creative person is difficult, man, because you really do have this struggle of half wanting the world to be there, hanging on your every word, caring so much about everything that you do… 

But then you also don't want that at all, because it's really nerve-wracking to think about people being there watching you at all times. 

So, I don't know, I’m in a weird spot now. 

This has been a hard week, there's already been tears. 

Not tears that have been recorded, and that's fine, there will probably be tears by the end of the month, but I don't know. 

Right now, when I post this, I doubt anyone outside of, like, my parents is even going to see it. 

Oh, that's cool. 

Oh, I can be a — yeah, oh, that should be, that's gonna be a future book cover, right there. 

That's just the wine talking. 

Thanks for watching my first writing vlog. 

This is my first writing vlog, that's kind of cool. 

It's going to be fun to look back on one day like I’ve been looking back on all my other stuff. 

And I am looking forward to next week, and I’m looking forward to the rest of this month, and I’m just thankful for anybody who's been here with me, and anybody who's going to come here in the future. 

If you want to write, if you are out there and you want to write, or you want to be a creative person, and you want to do anything, you just go do it. 

You just go get started. 

I promise it's gonna be hard, but I promise it's all gonna be worth it, I swear.

NaNoWriMo Writing Advice, circa 2014

**The following is the transcript for the above video. Although it can be read, it's best when certain things can be seen or heard :)**

I hate the fact that I just said that. 

Oh, my God, no… 

Hey, everybody! 

How you all doing out there? 

Welcome back to my channel. 

I hope this video is finding you well. 

My name, for those of you who do not know, is Andrew, and this November 2020… it's just me reconnecting to all these crazy aspects of myself. 

The other day, I reacted to the first post that I put out on my blog. 

I had a great time with that. 

Today, I’m gonna be reacting to the first time I tried to give writing advice six years ago during National Novel Writing Month 2014. 

NaNo 2012 was the first time I participated in all of this, which was what that last reaction video was about. 

I don't know, I’m excited about today, so I’m not even gonna waste any time. 

Let's just get Write On In.

Okay, so I’m just on my personal channel right here right now. 

I just started uploading some content on it again recently, just because after I started this channel, I was getting some more random subscribers and so I just wanted to have something fresh. 

But oh, actually, right there. 

There you go, sorry, there it is. 

My bad. 

This video is called the Tides of Darkness folder, and I’m pretty sure this is the folder in question, and this is the book that came of all of this. 

I do not know what this looked like back then, and obviously this. 

I don't remember if this was the first half or the second half that I wrote. 

We're gonna figure that all out, so, ah! 

Anyway, here's my first writing advice video. 

October 23rd, 2014 was when this came out. 

Here we go. 

Hello there, how's it going? Uh, this is Andrew Stillman. 

Um, I thought today I would, um, show you — 

Look at that hairline, first of all. 

I’m — it's coming back because now I’m on — I’m on treatment for it, and I just cut it all off. 

But that this is the hair that I’m trying to bring back. 

— you guys a little bit about my, uh, Tides of Darkness folder. 

Tides of Darkness is my sequel. 

This is this book. 

Working on the last half of it for NaNoWriMo.

The last half, so this is. 

The fantasy book, this is, like, this I don't know, it's gonna be pretty crazy. 

If you've read Immortality Awaits, it's gonna be really crazy in Tides of Darkness, so yeah. 

The first — I started out with just a, uh, character list. 

So funny of how many just, like, going through the whole thing. 

It changes perspectives a lot. It’s just like in Game of Thrones —

Just like Game of Thrones?? 

It's like Game of Thrones, I don't have that many people. 

It's true, though, my stories do not have as many people as Game of Thrones. 

That was a complaint that I had a lot in the first book.

They said I had too many characters, but the thing is, there's only 14, and they all get more attention in the second book, anyway, which is what this is all about. 

AKA, I was just a really shitty author and I produced a really crappy book that I now, six years later, talk really awfully about. 

Okay, the next step, we have when things start to get fun. 

Oh, when they're fun. 

I did two sentences for each chapter. 

Hey! I have this as an exercise on this channel right now, under the plot exercise video. 

I’m just saying, like, I hand wrote that ish on all of these. 

This is just the last half. 

I already did this for the first half, and already written the first half. 

The first half is currently standing at about 70,000 words, and the second half is looking to be somewhere around 80. 

I don't know why I’m doing this to myself, but I am. 

So yes, so I do two sentences per chapter just to give myself an idea of what ish is going to be going on. 

Now we are really getting into the pretty fun — 

Okay, am I at least moderately more interesting than this now? 

I hope so. 

I get told a lot more these days that I look like Tom Ellis, so I hope that is at least some points in my favor. 

Um, I then took all those two sentences and wrote up three paragraph, five sentences. 

See how far back this goes? 

And I went through and I hand wrote out for what I did. 

So there's 20, but I sure didn't know how to make that interesting to share.

I’m a big fan of handwriting. 

I kind of think that all authors, writers, everybody should be handwriting ideas and stuff down first. 

Agreed. 

Um, if you put it in ink, it makes you think. 

I hate the fact that I just said that. 

I hate the fact that I just said that, too! 

Oh, my God, no! 

Oh, no. 

I’m only two minutes in? 

Oh, God. 

I really like to, uh, hand write things out first like this as far as just outline purposes go, because I really feel like it puts me into the mindset of the story. 

I’m not too worried about, uh, actually writing at the moment, you know what I mean? 

I feel like I remember that couch behind me, by the way. 

I was, this is, the only time I’ve ever lived by myself, and I was recording off of my computer. 

Not this exact computer I have, but a Mac just like the one that I have. 

A lot of times, when it comes to, uh, typing or sitting down to write, that we get all distracted and we try to make everything sound pretty off the bat. 

And I think that the most important thing to do first is to actually get the story down. 

Truth. 

The handwriting out the outlines, to me, at least, gets the story straight out, because I’m like, okay, you know, what do I want to happen?

I’m not sitting here trying to make everything pretty, because my hand hurts. 

Apart from general writing stuff, I also have questions. 

They're pretty common questions, I haven't answered all of them quite yet. 

I also made a comment in one of my videos about how ain't nobody has time to go through this, so I’m glad that I did for this. 

But I have, “What do you want to happen? How do you want to get there?” 

Okay. 

“What are the main emotions and how are they examined?” 

Oh, that's a good one. 

“Where do you see this book going? What themes do you want to cover?” So this is the kind of stuff that you're supposed to know. 

Also, I’m going to be honest right now, watching me here, and then looking over and seeing me on this screen here is a very weird experience. 

Because I’m — I look very different, and it's so weird, because I looked more like this, like, two days ago, before I just shaved everything off. 

But this beard, in this video, is actually fresh. 

This beard has been around for maybe three months, because I grew it out when right before I published Immortality Awaits. 

I think I like to just sit down and actually think about it. Obviously, I haven't finished writing it yet, because I got a little distracted writing those 25 chapter outlines, because those need to be done for NaNoWriMo, which starts next week at this current time. 

Uh, I think today is the 23rd, so I have eight days left until we get started. 

We all have eight days left until we get started, oh, my goodness gracious, what are we gonna do?? 

We're just gonna write, that's it. 

That's it! 

I said — I say it enough on this channel, just go write. 

So, yeah, so I asked myself these questions about things I want to happen. I want to get there talking about the emotions. 

I can answer that question. If you have read Immortality Awaits, the big emotion for that book is anger. 

That's true. 

That’s why there's that big fireball on the top cover. 

I know that fireballs, people talk about them being a little bit on the cliche side. I don't know, they're a little different in my book, and they are a little necessary, I suppose, because they're just part of one of the four elements that come through. 

The emotion associated with that, uh, is anger, I — because I associate anger, fire, rage, kind of all one and the same thing. 

Um, so now, here in book two, which is called Tides of Darkness, and the emotions are —

I’m such a pretentious dick sometimes when I’m younger, I feel. 

People said that to me a lot back then, too, I feel, so it's fine. 

Sadness, uh, isolation, depression, loneliness, and fear. 

There's five, and I know that's a lot. 

It's going to be a pretty emotionally-packed book. 

Side note, saying this now, and what I’m about to go through actually — not in this video, but, like in these upcoming videos — this is actually the only book I’ve ever cried while I wrote. 

So, it was a very emotion-packed book, as awkward as I am trying to explain it. 

It was actually, like, I cried so much. 

The fear aspect is gonna be kind of examined by everybody, especially with Donovan and company. 

They have been really taken out of their element, they are far away from home, they have no way to contact their families, their friends, their old lives, and they are stuck in a war, and they're scared. 

Minus the war part, everything I just said is why I went to New Zealand, so I could feel the same… same thing. 

Because, I mean, who wouldn't be, really? 

But they're trying to find the adventure behind it, and there's just a lot of fear coming from everybody, and it's kind of about overcoming your fears. 

But then the actual power, the emotions, are sadness/depression/isolation/loneliness —

Okay, and what has effing changed? 

Nothing. 

Same themes, same idea, same everything going on in NaNo right now, pretty much. 

So, but yeah, I’m not 100 looking forward to writing that, because I think I’m going to be pretty depressed by the end of it. 

But I suppose that just gets the job done. 

I cried so much. 

Next, I don't know, comes the challenge for myself for the second book. 

I give myself a challenge in every book, I’ve said it on this channel before. 

As if what I’m currently doing isn't a freaking challenge enough, the “big challenge,” what was my big — what was my “big challenge” back then? 

Worldbuilding. 

First of all, whoa. 

I have been pretty open on this channel about how worldbuilding is my least favorite thing. 

There it is. 

Second of all, that where's that map actually probably fantasy off that map is what became later on. 

And then this map is blown up on my wall over there, so, okay. 

So weird. 

I still want to know what like this looks like, I hope I hold it up at one point. 

Writers out there know that this is some crazy shenanigans. 

So this so far is the map I have drawn of Ianaro, I am not the best artist —

It was called Ianaro still at that time?? 

Oh, heaven, it's not even what my world is called anymore! Oh, my God. 

We spent the first book in here down, in this. 

I’m literally —

So now we're going to be spending the second book — 

Oh, my God — 

— and then see how there's four quadrants, there's four objects, see where I’m going with this here? 

So I just started drawing this finally. 

Um, I have a little tiny map between Konida and Liarda that I drew for, uh, Immortality Awaits that I needed to get a little bit more into it.

So, we have some lakes over here, and then we have the ocean lines up around in here.

By the way, I know you can see all this coming — you're welcome for cutting out all, like, the jump cuts and a lot of the stuff that's going on in between, because I know that I’m not making y'all sit through all of this. 

I haven't done any of these, yet, which is probably going to be part of what I do for the rest of the month/why I want to go to New Zealand really really really really really bad. 

Why I want to go to New Zealand?

Okay, first of all, last video I didn't even have 10 reasons why I loved New Zealand. 

Second of all, I can already tell you that three days after the last of these videos that I recorded I’m about to get to — it's a foreshadow, by the way, we're gonna get to it by the end of the month — but three days after this NaNo experience was when I decided to go spend a year in New Zealand. 

And then, whoa, hello, all three of these, right here in this video. 

I have all these places that they're going, Parnalder, Quentavane, Trestinore, all these places that you have no idea what I’m talking about because you haven't read the book yet. 

Nope. 

Um, but I haven't filled out any of them rushed to Ra'ash D'Avocier here, uh chelsea Parnalder Ardenway (??)

They're going all over the place. 

They don't have my story. 

This was before I did any of this scenario. 

I like that name, Denaria. 

Pretty cool, Denaria. 

I like that name, Denaria. 

“It's pretty cool,” that's funny, because now it's my world name. 

So, I guess I really did like that name. 

And I just said a minute ago that my world name had changed, and it's Denaria. 

And here, in this video, apparently, is where I’m — okay. 

I don't know where I came up with that, but it just happened. 

So I haven't filled any of these yet, but I need to. 

I really to, um, they're filled out, and I’m at least working on the map, but most of the worldbuilding process is going to come at the end, when I’ve already written out the story.

Because the first draft really is just all about the story, which I think everyone can kind of agree with. 

Which is what the whole point of NaNo is, which I’m really excited for this year. 

But I’m trying to be a little bit more prepared, because ooh man. 

Last time I was not prepared. 

I still did it, and I was not prepared. 

I just don't want to end nano hating what I wrote as much as I did last time. 

Last time, I found out about it on, like, October 27th, and I had four days. 

That was probably one of my lesser bright ideas. 

Anyway. 

That coffee mug! 

Oh, my God, that's from Borders! 

I used to work at Borders in the cafe, and I stole that coffee mug when they were going out of business, and I was really sad when it broke. 

But I remember. 

Wow, yeah. 

As I was saying, my thing actually cut me off, that's why there was that odd cut. 

Because I just decided to stop recording, but anyway. 

I found out on October 27th. 

I only had three days to get my life together, and then I busted out 54,000 words of the novel that had absolutely no preparation going into it. 

And it was really, really awful. 

So, this time, I would like to have a little bit of a better experience, which, but, of course was no means NaNo's fault — 

Defending NaNo! 

How cute!

Like it would be NaNo's fault if I had a bad time! 

Silly little writer here. 

But I was moving in the month of November, and having already partaken in NaNoWriMo and being no stranger to moving, I knew I would not be able to pump out 50,000 words in a month on top of moving. 

Not gonna happen. 

Whatsoever. 

I started Tides actually last year. 

Apart from my really awkward delivery and terrible editing skills, I’m happy at myself for my very conscious effort of keeping eye contact into the lens. 

This is so bad. 

For NaNoWriMo as, like, a sub thing for myself going on, let me take this to write whenever I can. 

And I got 30,000 words, so we'll see. 

We'll see how this year goes. 

I have one more thing left in my folder for now. 

I’m still kind of in the beginning stages of the second half. 

I didn't do any of this for the first half of the book, honestly. 

The first half kind of was already in my head rolling around, so I just kind of sat down and busted it out. 

When I got to about chapter 15 was when I was like, “I have absolutely no idea where I’m going with this.” 

This was back in June, already. 

And then I took the whole summer off, because I just didn't care. 

And then I took the whole summer off because that was the summer that I published Immortality Awaits, and that was the summer that I quit that blog I was just at the other day, and when I — my little “writing” depression started, so. 

NaNo was coming up, but I’m like, “Well, I need to stop being such a lame person. 

I’m working on the calendar which inspired the kingdoms here of — 

Oh, my God, I made my own calendar?? 

Oh, maybe I should do that! 

As, like, an exercise sometime for some writers. 

“Make your own calendar in your world.” 

If you're watching this, bonus prompt. 

The regions, all that kind of stuff, and then the two big ones here that have been left blank, kind of on purpose, because I don't even want to get into this debate in my own fictional world. 

The religion and the politics, really, this is the kind of stuff that just drives me crazy.

Especially when it comes to the “United States” a real life situation. 

“United States.” 

Currently, one of the funniest things about this little event is that recording this right now is November 3rd, 2020 and I just came back from dropping off my ballot. 

So, I definitely know where this vent went.

Together, UNITED, and I feel like these two topics break apart more than anything else in the entire country.

And I mean, maybe I’ll get into that a little bit in the book, but it just bothers me so much. 

Because I’m pretty moderate when it comes to all these things in general.

I like to see things from both sides. 

That's why I have the story told from the villain and the hero, because I think — 

Nerdy Narrative! Lezlie! 

If you're out there and you're watching this and you're here at this moment right now, and you know because you've been reading my story, I did that binge watch on your stuff the other day.

I saw your video about the whole “is the villain really the villain” in your little angsty ramblings, so… 

I got you girl. 

I think that the opinions on what makes the villain and what makes the hero are twisted, contorted a little bit. 

I’m trying to show — 

Lezlie! 

— what makes a villain a villain. 

Is he really that bad, or is it whatever? 

I mean, that's a lot going on in the rest of the series, so, I mean, I’ll get there, but I haven't gotten too much into the religion or the politics of Ianaro. 

It's big stuff, because it’s this kind of stuff that then people are going to read and relate it back to their real life, and I’m just not trying to have that kind of a disagreement. 

But I just try to be, like, “Oh, that's how you think, cool.” 

I agree to disagree, because that's my life, thank you so much. 

I still feel that way. 

Thank you so much for watching. 

Sorry I got off on a little bit of a vent there at the end. 

Uh, ironically enough, I am not going to get into that vent today, but it's Election Day, so, like, of any day, it would be the day right now that I would want to be like, “Six years later!” 

Because I was in New Zealand during the 2016 election, so. 

But, yeah. 

That is currently my Tides of Darkness folder. 

So I’m getting ready for NaNo 2014. 

If you don't have a folder, you should get one, or make something on your computer, or something to just get it away from all the other files in your life. 

Uh, because, if — especially if you're a first-time NaNoWriMer, it's not as easy as it sounds. 

And even when you read people talking about how hard it is, you're not gonna understand it until you actually get to it. 

That's true. 

You don't have a lot of time to mess around. 

You should definitely try to start hard to 1667 every day. 

Try to do spurts so you can get yourself ahead, because being ahead is the best place to be. 

Truth. 

As of this recording, I’m behind right now on this month, this year's NaNo, so, whatever.

Especially, you do not want to fall behind on the first week, or you're probably going to be screwed. 

So, good luck. 

Good luck on NaNo and general novel writing. 

Okay. 

“You Gotta Work, Bitch,” that's one of my recent ones. 

Hey, what's up, Alex? 

He's from the Shelf Space Discord. 

Well, that was super fun, kind of. 

A little bit awkward, but fun for me, I think. 

Wow, I have changed a lot. 

I really hope that I’m a lot more interesting to watch on camera now. 

It's not like I’m the most interesting person ever, anyway, in the first place, but that was a little bit awkward. 

But I, I had some gems of advice in there, some things I guess I would still, you know… say. 

Anyway, so, thanks so much for watching, exactly like what I just said in that video. 

I’m gonna be continuing these reactions throughout the month. 

The rest of the videos of this are all shorter, at least, so my reactions are gonna be shorter with these videos. 

But I don't know, this is still really fun for me to, like, see where I was at. 

Especially, like, with this map, to see this not complete was pretty cool for me today, I think. 

So, anyway, thanks so much for watching. 

Sunday is gonna be my first little writing vlog from this year's NaNo, if you want to check that out. 

You can also read my whole first draft of this year's NaNo here :).

Time to Write a Book Together! Let's Get Ready for National Novel Writing Month 2020!

Hey, everyone!

How’s it going?

I hope this post is finding you well.

I just wanted to take a quick moment to thank those of you who have already liked, shared, commented, and, most importantly, subscribed to this channel.

All of the videos I’ve released, apart from the Piranesi review, were recorded in the first couple weeks of August, so I’m really glad those awkward first videos are officially done.

Going forward, I’m going to take a moment on the last Thursday of every month to pause, thank those of you who support me, reflect on where I’ve been, and discuss what I have planned next. 

For this month, since I already have next month’s content filmed, as well,  I’ve put together a short little one-minute clip to show you what to expect next. I’ll check back in for closing thoughts once the message has played.

Ahhh!

I’m super excited both to officially announce that and write the book I’ve designed when November hits.

For those of you who do not know, November is National Novel Writing Month, so these little topic videos and tutorials I’ve put together throughout October are designed to help you get a skeleton of your book so you don’t run into any hindrances during NaNo.

It’s meant, mostly, for people who have never written a book, but I’m excited for anybody who wants to take this journey with me.

Before I leave you, I’m just going to take some advice I got from a friend and leave you with a goal.

She told me she liked to see YouTubers set goals and then later achieve them, so I’m going to go ahead and set one now that, hopefully, you will help me achieve.

This is obviously only going into my second month here on YouTube, so this is something I’m hoping is doable, but

I would love it if at least one person I do know, and one person I do not, joined me on this journey.

That seems much more attainable than saying something like 3,000 of each, but I’m just calling on two volunteers.

Although, let’s face it, the more the merrier.

So if you have never written a book, but always wanted to, please hit that little subscribe button, followed by that little bell notification, and by December 1st, you’ll have a book in your hands.

Hooray!

If you do not want to write a book, I ask that you please at least share this or any other videos with anyone you might know who does. You never know who else might benefit from them.

Or, if you’re just interested about either my personal writing process or just the general novel-writing process, these videos will be the place to go.

The Tuesday videos will cover various topics, with videos on Thursdays that take on more of a tutorial aspect, and Sundays will be for book reviews on books that affect this project, such as Piranesi.

I’m constructing my own work from scratch alongside of you, but most of that actual footage is sped up, basically the same as what you saw in this trailer, but everything I’m doing — from the character development to the completed first draft — will also be posted on my corresponding website, linked down there in the description box.

I hope you’re all ready to Get Write On In, because once next week hits… I’m not sleeping until December.

See you next week!

What it Means To Be a "Creative"

Hello, all my beautiful creatives, and thank you for joining me for the very first episode of Write On In!

My name is Andrew J. Stillman, and I'll be your host along this writing journey of ours.

Whether you are an aspiring writer, a pro, or someone who's just curious about the way writer's tick, you have come to the "write" spot.

Today, I'm going to give you a bit of a rundown about what to expect here on this show, as well as what it means to be a creative.

I'd love it if you subscribed to the blog or the YouTube channel to keep up with what's going on here. I have a lot planned in the upcoming months, and this is the first of many planned topics.

I'll also be around on Tuesdays, if it's easier to remember it that way.

Apart from that, Let's Get Write On In!

Like people, writers come in all shapes and sizes

Whether you're a novelist, a freelancer, or anything in between, we are going to discuss it all throughout these blogs and YouTube videos.

As of this filming, I'm (something of) an aspiring novelist myself. I've got eight manuscripts I'm juggling, and one day I'll figure out what to do with them.

One day.

I'll include you with my experiences as I query out agents and such for the first time, but I still want to share bits and pieces that I've learned along my journey.

I did self publish a book back in 2014, but if I'm honest, it was a rushed attempt and it's not something I'm proud of.

Just the truth, but it was a lesson either way.

It's still available on Kindle, if you want, but please don't drop the thousand someone's charging for the paperback.

My novel writing journey has come a long way since that self publication, but I've also found some success in the freelance writing world. That -- specifically with travel, which seems to have a lot of people's interest based on my trailer -- will also be amongst the topics I'll discuss throughout this series.

Travel especially is just a tad difficult with covid these days.

We'll cover everything you need to know about the world of writing, but you can always feel free to leave comments or questions about specific topics you'd like to see covered.

But as for the topic of the day:

What it Means to Be a "Creative"

Next week's topic is more tailored toward the difference between being an amateur and being a professional, but today we're going to talk about the actual definition of being a creative person.

If this is something of a new feeling for you, this creativity you're discovering, I encourage you to embrace it.

Especially if it's a recent  discovery because of this pandemic.

According to the dictionary, "creative" essentially means forming an original thought through the production of your imagination.

Basically, you just take something and make something cool with it.

It doesn't have to be stressful, so stay calm.

Today, focus on whatever creativity you feel inside of you.

Whether you write music, stories, articles, choreography, or perhaps you draw or paint...

Whatever you do...

Just go forth and create.

Let your imagination run free.

And then be sure to join me next week to talk about the differences between being an amateur and a professional.

That's all for today's introduction of Write On In, my wonderful creatives!

If you haven't already, please like, comment, subscribe, share, or do all of the above.

And if there is something in particular you would like for me to discuss, please let me know in the comments.

See you next week!